madrid: a digital nomad’s sloppy take on endless coffee and questionable tapas

i got to madrid last week and it’s been a weird mix of everything. the sun’s out at 7 am and the cafe culture is either legendary or a scam depending on where you are. i just checked and it’s 25 degrees here right now, hope you like that kind of thing. 24% humidity is like, perfect for not sweating through my hoodie, which is a weird luxury.

here’s what happened: i started in the city center because i thought that’s where the magic was. i’ve been wrong a few times in my life about that. the plaza mayordás is chaos but not in a good way. it’s like if a toddler threw a food fight and then painted all the walls. i met some locals who swore the tapas at tapasmadrid was dragged out of a dumpster and microwaved. others said it’s the best thing since sliced bread. i ended up in the middle. maybe because i’m a digital nomad and i eat what’s cheap.

i’ve heard that the wifi in central is so bad, one hostel tech even cried in the corner. i didn’t ask them because they looked like they hadn’t slept in days. instead, i worked from a park bench near the river. the people there were either gridlocked by spanish tourists or mildly judging me for being a foreigner with a laptop. one man kept staring at my keyboard like he was waiting for me to cheat on a test. maybe he was. who knows.

the neighbors part is what got me lost. if you get bored, toledo or granada are just a short drive away. but i didn’t go because i’m cheap and also i confused south with west for about 20 minutes. that’s how madrid is. one minute you’re in a historic area, next you’re wondering why there’s a michael jackson statue in a plaza that shouldn’t have statues.

someone told me that the best tacos are in a place called tacos madrid. i went there thinking it was a cult. turns out it’s just a food truck parked behind a vintage bookstore. the tacos were good. the bookstore wasn’t. i bought a crumpled copy of the secret history of spain because i figured that’d be useful. it wasn’t.

reviews here are all gossip. i heard that the rooftop bar at mirador is only open if you bribe the bartender with euros. i didn’t try that. i also heard that the central metro is haunted. two guys told me they saw a ghost collect tickets at 3 am. i didn’t believe them but now i’m kind of worried. what if it sees me? i’m carrying a passport. that seems like a crime.

i threw a few bucks at the street artists near santa catalina market. they tried to make me a mural with my photo but i kept moving. ended up paying 10 euros for a sketch that looked like a cat. i laughed. it was a good 10 euros. also, the market has these weird stalls selling cumin and dried rosemary. i bought rosemary. it smelled like regret.

i’ve linked to some places below. tapasmadrid’s tripadvisor is like 4.5 stars but their yelp said “hook and regret”. i chose to believe the tripadvisor. maybe because i’m a nihilist. https://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant/TapasMadrid-Madrid-Spain.html. the hostel i stayed at, apartment vibes, is on yelp with a 3.2. it’s called ibiza even though it’s in madrid. https://www.yelp.com/biz/apartamento-ibiza-madrid. for those who want to escape the city, toledofads.com is a weird local blog i found. they’re basically just a guy describing his cactus garden from 30 km away. https://www.toledofads.com.

i took some photos of madrid’s street art. one of them is a giant phoenix that’s half burnt. another is a mural that looks like a cat drinking beer. here they are:

.

if you’re thinking of coming, i’m not here to stop you. just pack an extra sweater. the nights are cool. and maybe a backup hoodie. the ones in madrid are cheap but will disintegrate in a month. also, drink the coffee. it’s bitter but maybe that’s the point. https://www.baristاؤه.com/madrid-cafe.

this place is mad. i mean, literally. and metaphorically. who knows. i’ll probably write another post about it. maybe about how i almost got arrested for sitting on a bench without permission. probably won’t. who has time?

oh, and the weather? yeah. 25 degrees. 24% humidity. 1019 mb pressure. it’s like someone stuck a radiator outside and forgot to turn it off. but hey, at least the sun isn’t trying to kill us. probably.

p.s. if you’re aghost huntress, i heard madrid’s old hospital has a ghost that collects rats. i didn’t investigate.

You might also be interested in:

• https://votoris.com/post/vladivostok-damp-socks-and-a-whole-lotta-fish
• https://votoris.com/post/bogors-air-quality-where-your-morning-coffee-tastes-like-traffic-jam-sadness
• https://votoris.com/post/so-paulo-a-digital-nomads-guide-to-the-concrete-jungle
• https://votoris.com/post/studying-in-santiago-del-estero-universities-chaos-and-cheap-empanadas
• https://votoris.com/post/kochi-rain-rust-and-really-weird-fish-9