sleep-every 48 hours in sevastopol (or don’t? it’s weird here)

woke up at 3am and realized i forgot to pack my passport but also my parking ticket. it’s sevastopol. you do this. i just checked and it’s that 14.52-degree air that makes your coffee taste like regret. also the humidity is 58% which is like if your skin walked out to a party and forgot to bring a jacket. woke up to a wind so strong it probably whispered to the *mkoskoy station how sad its commuters are.

last week i saw a tourist try to haggle for a tourist map at dzvizhnya market. they kept saying ‘no no no david i’ll take 500 rubles’ while handing me a stack of synthetic keywords. turned out it was a fake market. or maybe not. i heard that from a drunk sailor at a dive bar. he was wearing a hat made of shoelaces. maybe he’s still there. i should ask. or not.

the weather here is a mood. sometimes it’s that 14.52-degree air that makes your coffee taste like regret. sometimes it’s this weird kind of calm where the chevachki rampart looks like a giant potatochip fence. my neighbor over there-who i think might be a former spy-told me the wifi at his place is so secure you need a password that’s 15 words long and written in emojis. i tried ‘pizza with extra love’ but it didn’t work. still waiting for a response.

if you get bored sevastopol is a 4-hour train ride away but don’t let that scenery fool you it’s like getting a latte in a toaster. i went once. bought a melon. the melon was sentient. it whispered ‘eat me i’m lonely’ until i threw it into the sea. i feel regret.

someone told me the oktyabrskaya cinema is the best place to hide from your problems. they play static on the big screen for 3 hours. you sit there and stare at the noise until you hear something ironic. i haven’t tried it. i tried staring at a tree instead. the tree lied. it was screaming the entire time.

i just saw this writeup on a local board. someone posted: ‘the best thing in sevastopol is not knowing what you’re doing.’ i agree. i got lost three times today. once i found a weird mural on a wall that looked like a giant cat playing chess. the cat lost. the locals said it’s a metaphor for the city. probably. i think it’s a metaphor for my life.

check out the reviews for the dantsevski orphanage. on yelp one person wrote: ‘the soup has existential dread in every spoonful.’ another said: ‘i hugged a pillow and it hugged me back.’ both probably fake. but who cares? i’m here to ask about the ‘extra-compact pierogi’ rumor. someone swore they sell them at 3am in a construction van. i tried to find the van but it drove itself away. maybe it joined a cult.

here’s a map. don’t trust it.

i took three pictures today. one of a street sign that reads ‘no left turns except on tuesdays’. one of a pigeon wearing a tiny monocle. one of the morskoy port’ at sunset. the sun was red. or maybe orange. i’m not sure how light works here anymore.

a snowy mountain with a city in the foreground

white and black mountain under blue sky during daytime

i’m writing this on a train. the wifi is bad. i’m drinking coffee that tastes like the atmosphere. bought a vintage pocket watch at chevachki market for 100 rubles. the seller said it’s worth $500. i think he’s lying. or maybe not. time will tell. the watch is now in my pocket and it’s counting down to when i leave sevastopol. or maybe i won’t. maybe i’ll just live here. it’s not that bad.

if you want recommendations i heard lviv* is better. it’s further but they have better coffee. also they serve vodka in bubblegum flavors. i don’t know if that’s real. probably not. but i’d believe anything right now.

links:
- sevastopol travel guide via tripadvisor
- dzvizhnya market yelp
- local blog about sevstalka metro

tags: ['travel', 'sevastopol', 'human', 'messy', 'nomad']

sleep-every 48 hours in sevastopol (or don’t? it’s weird here)

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