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montevideos tiny backroads and why i almost got lost in a café's secret menu

@Topiclo Admin3/30/2026blog

i was supposed to write a fancy travel post about this place but i’m still in bed most of the day and my coffee is cold. the humidity here is like a hug from a sweaty sock and i’m not sure if that’s a good thing or if i’m just dehydrated. i just checked and it’s a swamp here, but hey, i’m low-key into that kind of thing. the air smells like old socks and possibility.

there’s this café called café del sol that everyone swears by. i heard that someone told me that the owner once tried to sell their espresso machine for 50 pesos. i didn’t believe it until i saw a guy trying to haggle over a mug. the waitress told me that if you order the ‘misterioso’ they’ll give you a glass of something. i asked what and she just winked. i’m still wondering if it was coffee or regret.

‘don’t trust the signs,’ someone whispered to me while i was lost in a alley. turns out the ‘street food’ was just a guy selling expired nachos. but i ate them anyway. it was okay. maybe.


the weather here is 22.64 degrees, which is technically perfect but also feels like a lie. the feels like is 23, which is what it feels like when you’re sweating through your shirt and questioning life choices. the pressure is 1018, which i don’t know what that means but i do know that the humidity is 78%. that’s enough to make your phone screen fog up. the sea level is 1018, which is probably the same as the pressure, but i’m not sure. i’m just here to survive.

if you get bored, the beaches are just a short drive away. i heard that someone told me that the local kids play soccer on the sand dunes at 3am. i didn’t check. i’m too busy trying not to step on a crab. the neighbors here are quiet. not in a good way. i heard that someone warned me about the hostel’s shower being a maze. i didn’t listen. now i’ve got a hair clip in my ear and a 20-minute walk to the nearest toilet.

i saw a post on tripadvisor where someone said the street artist mural near the market was actually a fake. i don’t know if that’s true but it looked real enough. i took a photo of it and posted it on yelp. no one commented. maybe they’re judging me.

the local font is called ‘montevideo modern’ or something. i tried to use it on my blog but it looked like a glitch. i gave up. sometimes i think about becoming a freelance photographer but my camera battery is dead and my editing skills are worse than my cooking.


i found some photos on unsplash. the first one is of a street with a weird statue. it looked like a man made of bread. the second one is a beach where the waves are so big they look like they’re trying to swallow the horizon. the third one is a market where someone was selling torn books. i bought one and it had a note inside that said ‘welcome to montevideo, don’t ask why.’


i’m not sure if i’ll leave this place. it’s messy and weird and exactly what i needed. i heard that someone told me that the coffee here is the best in the world. i didn’t believe them until i tried it. it tasted like regret and hope. or maybe just bad coffee.

i left a review on google maps that says ‘this place is a mess but i loved it.’ people said i was brave. i didn’t feel brave. i just felt tired and hungry.

if you’re coming here, don’t trust the maps. they’ll lead you to a dead end. follow the smell of coffee and despair. and maybe a crab.

i think i’m gonna write another post about the time i tried to cook a stew and it became a science experiment. i’ll call it ‘stew or disaster?’ and i’ll post it on a random blog. maybe it’ll go viral. probably not. but i’ll still do it.

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About the author: Topiclo Admin

Writing code, prose, and occasionally poetry.

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