puerto plata when you’re just trying to survive the heat

woke up in this tiny apartment and the first thing i heard was the AC struggling like it’s in a fight with a hurricane. outside it’s like a sauna out there, 28.95 degrees and i just checked and it’s like that right now, hope you like that kind of thing. i’m not a fan but i guess that’s the vibe. if you get bored, the next city over is a short drive but don’t get me wrong, this place has its own kind of chaos. i heard that the beach here is full of old pirate treasures but i also heard that someone got arrested for trying to sell a conch shell as a ‘rare artifact’ so take that for what it’s worth.

i’ve been here a week and the neighbors are like a mystery. one of them keeps playing that same reggaeton song on loop and another one’s always out in the street with a stack of books that look like they’re trying to start a library. i asked one guy about it and he just said ‘it’s the best of both worlds’ which is code for ‘i don’t know what i’m talking about’ but i took his word.

the weather is stupid. 32.08 feels like it’s trying to melt your brain. i was at a local market and the vendor was selling mangoes and i asked if they’re in season and he just stared at me like i’d asked about the meaning of life. meanwhile, the humidity is at 67% and i’m sweating so much my shirt is clinging to me like a second skin. i just checked and it’s like that right now, hope you like that kind of thing.

someone told me that the best coffee here is at this tucked-away café but i didn’t believe them until i walked in. the owner was a guy in his 60s with a beard that looked like it had seen every storm in the region. he handed me a cup and said ‘this is not for tourists’ but it was the best coffee i’ve ever had. i posted a review on yelp and it’s already 4.8 stars. i also saw a tripadvisor listing for a hostel that’s supposedly haunted but i’m not sure if that’s true or if it’s just a local joke.

i tried to take some photos but my camera died. i have these images from unsplash instead. one shows a palm tree that looks like it’s judging me, another is a street sign that reads ‘no entry’ but there’s a group of people standing there anyway, and the third is a sunbathing cat that seems completely unbothered by the heat.

i heard that the locals here are really friendly but also really suspicious. i asked a guy for directions and he kept pausing to check if i had a passport. i didn’t, so he just walked me to the nearest bus stop and said ‘good luck’ like he was sending me into a mystery. i also saw a sign for a ‘free spa’ but it was just a guy in a towel yelling about his soufflé.

this place is a mess but in a good way. there’s a wall near the beach that’s covered in graffiti and someone painted a giant mustache on a statue of a guy. i don’t know if it’s art or a prank but it’s definitely something. i also tried to find a food truck but everything was closed because of the weather. i guess that’s what happens when it’s 1013 pressure and 67% humidity.

if you’re thinking of coming here, don’t forget to grab a bottle of water. i heard that the tap water is safe but i’m not taking that chance. i also saw a local board on facebook that’s got tips about hidden spots but i didn’t check it. maybe next time.

i just checked and it’s like that right now, hope you like that kind of thing. the weather is messing with my head and my skin is like a map of this place. i posted this on a travel forum and someone replied with a link to a blog about ‘the best hidden beaches in the caribbean’ but i didn’t read it because i’m too lazy.

i’m not sure if i’ll stay here. maybe for another day or two. the heat is bad but the chaos? the chaos is something else. i’ll leave you with this: if you get bored, the next city over is a short drive but don’t get me wrong, this place has its own kind of magic. maybe.

puerto plata when you’re just trying to survive the heat

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