Brussels Misadventures: Cold Coffee and Confusion
"i just checked and it's 2 degrees there right now, hope you like feeling like a popsicle while waiting for a tram. the wind cuts deeper than a sabre fencer. also, someone told me the local café only gives free beignets if you're wearing a beret.
walking past the grand place is like staring at a glittering lie. my boots sank into the cobblestones like quicksand, and the wind carried stories in dutch i couldn't understand. tried to order a coffee that didn't taste like melted snow. the barista looked at me like i'd asked for quantum physics.
heard a local snarl something about 'americans and their stupid validation filters' at the park. also, the Wi-Fi in this neighborhood moves slower than my Wi-Fi at 3 AM. had to ask a biker for directions to the nicer part of town. he just pointed north and said 'trust the rain to lead you to something better.'
someone warned me about the street artists near the opera. they'd yell prices louder than tourists. bartered for a sketch using a gallery catalog. got a confused guy and a squashed pastry.
if you get bored, leuven's 20 minutes away. it's cheaper, quieter, and smells like old books and existential crises.
map link for lost souls:
coffee suggestions: avoid the one near st. michael and knights. tried that after a friend's tip. now i have a gut ache and regrets. yelp says they use ice water but i don't trust anything that follows rules.
p.s. someone told me the best croissants come from a bakery that plays ABBA on loop. included link because why not?
(yes, they sell it with a side of sarcasm). friends, this city will test your patience. but stick around. the founders museum has a tour that costs less than a latte and more than your will to live.
map image
You might also be interested in:
- https://votoris.com/post/relocating-to-dayton-a-stepbystep-expat-checklist-but-like-messy
- https://votoris.com/post/veracruz-mexico-a-hot-humid-lens-blur
- https://votoris.com/post/mumbai-mayhem-curry-chaos-and-a-whole-lotta-humidity
- https://votoris.com/post/borvyehye-al-b-azz-schools-what-locals-really-think-no-fluff
- https://votoris.com/post/mysticvilles-morning-fog-and-why-im-still-here