Tel Aviv: a day that almost broke me

the humidity here is like walking through soup. i just checked and it's 18.59°C right now, feels like 18.85°C, so basically perfect if you're into that "slightly damp" feeling. humidity's at 90%, so my hair's doing that thing where it just...expands. the pressure's 1013 hPa, which i guess means nothing to me but sounds scientific so i'm writing it down.

anyway, i landed in tel aviv after a flight that felt longer than my last relationship. the airport was chaos, but in that "organized chaos" way israel does so well. someone told me that ben gurion airport is voted one of the safest in the world, which is comforting until you realize that means they're REALLY thorough with security.

i stayed in this tiny place in florentin that i found on Airbnb. it was basically a shoebox with a bed, but the rooftop had this view that made me forgive everything. you could see the whole city stretching out, all white buildings and palm trees, looking like a movie set that someone forgot to clean up.

*the food situation

oh my god, the food. i ate at this place called HaKosem ("The Magician" - cute, right?) and had falafel that made me question every other falafel I've ever eaten. someone told me that the owner learned his recipe from his grandmother who smuggled chickpeas across borders during some war or another. probably not true, but it tastes like a story.

i also went to the carmel market, which is basically organized chaos but with more shouting and better smells. i bought this spice mix from a guy who called me "sister" and told me it would make me irresistible. haven't tested that theory yet, but my eggs taste amazing.

"Tel Aviv isn't a city, it's a state of mind," said this drunk american i met at a bar who claimed to be writing a screenplay. he also told me that the city never sleeps, which is apparently true because i heard construction at 3am and saw people jogging at 5am like they're training for something important.

the beach situation

the beach here is...well, it's a beach. sand, water, people doing beach things. i went to frishman beach because someone on TripAdvisor said it was the cleanest. it was fine. the water was warm enough that I didn't immediately regret getting in, which is more than i can say for most beaches.

the people situation

tel avivians are beautiful and terrifying. everyone looks like they just stepped out of a fashion magazine or a military training manual. i tried to blend in by wearing all black and looking vaguely unimpressed, but i think i just looked lost.

i met this guy at a cafe who told me that tel aviv has more dogs per capita than anywhere else in the world. he also said something about it being the "vegan capital of the world" but then ordered a cheese sandwich, so i'm not sure how seriously to take him.

the art situation

florentin is covered in street art that makes bushwick look like a coloring book. i spent an entire afternoon just walking around taking photos of walls. someone told me that the city actually protects a lot of the graffiti because it's considered culturally important. i love that - a city that's like "yeah, go ahead, draw on our walls, we're into it."

the getting around situation

tel aviv is walkable if you don't mind sweating through your shirt. i mostly walked everywhere because i'm cheap and also because i like getting lost. the buses exist and seem to work, but the app confused me so i gave up. taxis are everywhere and surprisingly cheap - i took one at 2am and the driver told me his life story and charged me like $8.

the nightlife situation

i went to this bar in the namal port area that someone recommended. it was called something nautical, i can't remember. the drinks were strong, the music was loud, and i met a group of israeli soldiers who taught me some words i definitely can't repeat here. they told me that thursday is the real party night because friday everyone's prepping for shabbat. apparently the whole city shuts down friday night, which is wild to me - a city that actually rests.

"You haven't seen tel aviv until you've seen it from a bicycle at sunrise," whispered this yoga instructor I met who looked like she hadn't eaten bread since 1997. i tried it once and nearly got hit by three different vehicles, so maybe she's just more coordinated than me.

the day trip situation

if you get bored, jerusalem is just a short drive away, and it's like stepping into a different dimension. i went for a day and came back feeling like i'd time traveled. also, someone told me that eilat is only four hours by bus and has coral reefs and stuff. haven't been yet, but it's on the list.

the money situation

israel's expensive. like, really expensive. i thought new york was bad until i tried to buy groceries here. but you can find cheap eats if you look - the falafel places and shawarma joints will keep you alive for like $10 a day if you're careful.

the safety situation

look, i know what you're thinking. but honestly? i felt safer here than in most american cities i've visited. there are soldiers everywhere, sure, but they're usually just teenagers with guns slung over their shoulders, scrolling through instagram. the security's intense but it works, and people here have this attitude of "life goes on" that's both inspiring and slightly terrifying.

the wifi situation*

it's good. really good. i think i had faster internet here than i do at home. most cafes and restaurants have it, and it's usually free if you buy something. i uploaded photos faster here than i do in my actual house.

anyway, tel aviv is...a lot. it's loud and messy and beautiful and confusing. it's a city that doesn't care what you think about it, which is somehow exactly why i loved it. i left feeling like i'd been through something - not sure what, but something.

would i go back? absolutely. would i recommend it? yeah, but with the caveat that you should probably know what you're getting into. it's not a relaxing vacation spot - it's more like being dropped into the middle of a really interesting, slightly overwhelming conversation that you're not entirely sure you understand but you want to keep listening to.

just bring good walking shoes and an open mind. and maybe some dry shampoo for that humidity.

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