são paulo’s night buses are a vibe you don’t want to Google

woke up at 2am after a club. no Uber. so i took the green line. the bus driver was humming audadevo songs. i asked for a photo op of the city at night. he said no. but if i brought a bread roll, he’d ‘let me sketch the ferrari dealership.’ pulled over in a favela. smelled fried cashews. he gave me a map. r$1.20 for 5 rides. q: how much should you tip? a: don’t. they charge you by time, but if you leave early like a tourist, they’ll just generalize. q: is night transport safe? a: avoid the 3 o’clock line. that’s when evil twins switch to lottery. q: who should not move here? a: people with a passport. they just want to show off when they leave. q: rent? a: take a truck? no. stick to moema or tablada. q: job market? a: chefs need me most. i take night shifts. shoot food by streetlights. q: weather? a: it rains at 3am. then dries by 5am. q: nearby cities? a: 20 minutes to nic tromp. bring a jacket.