Skateboarding Through the Apocalypse at Vadodara (It’s Hot, Bro)
i didn’t plan for this. i thought i’d just hit the streets of vadodara for a quick session and maybe buy a mango shave ice from that sketchy cart near the old railway station. instead, i found myself skateboarding through a heatwave so intense the pavement melted into a giant griddle. the air smells like Bazooka and regret.
my board’s name is clark. clark about me. it survived a 30-degree day in a truck bed. the heat here? it’s testing clark’s limits. i checked-it’s 30.62°. feels like being baked in an oven with a fan that’s not working.
the worse part? the neighbors. or should i say, the non-neighbors? that family across the alley keeps screaming into their air conditioners. i heard them muttering about ‘global warming’ and ‘that idiotic skate park being a fire hazard.’ classic vadodara. if you get bored, ahmedabad is just a short drive away. ride the highway and pretend you’re escaping.
i heard that the local skate park is now guarded by a guy in a turban with a net. not kidding. someone told me he’ll bait you with free protein bars before you crash into a trash can. urban legends, bro. i haven’t confirmed if it’s real. maybe i’ll check the vadodara travel forum later. tripadvisor says it’s ‘ Authentic but chaotic ‘-which is 100% accurate.
ladies and germs, this place is a dumpster fire. literally. my shoes smell like curry and concrete. my socks smell like… existential dread. i joked with a local vendor about melting into the road. they just gave me a side of samosa and a stare. not helpful. i also overheard someone warn me that the river nearby is ‘liquid rust.’ probably an exaggeration. maybe.
need advice? follow the smell of fresh paint. it’s coming from a street artist dude painting a mural of a phoenix made entirely of expired chai spices. ask him about the best spots to avoid traffic. he knows everything. or don’t. he might sell you a smoke bomb for 50 rupees. cheap, maybe dangerous.
here’s a map if you’re lost:
. zoom in. look for the skate park with the turban guy. that’s where the action is.
photos from unsplash:
don’t rely on reviews. the yogurt shop near the market is supposedly great, but some guy told me it’s ‘owned by a witch who cursed the menu.’ i ate the papaya salad. it tasted like regret. maybe take a chance on the dosa cart. no guarantees.
clark’s final thoughts: wear a hat. drink water. maybe start a garden. the heat here’s so intense even the sun seems bored. if you’d rather not dance with climate apocalypse, byzantium is a cooler place. or start a hashtag. #VadadoRasHid.
p.s. i’m still not sure if this was a dream or if my brain just melted. probably the latter. adios, skates. adios, existence.
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