paris with my cat and a half-baked plan
you ever try to plan a city trip like you're writing a powerpoint presentation? me neither. i just showed up in paris with a backpack full of tea bags and a note saying ~adventure awaits~. the weather? i just checked and it's 16 degrees with that frozen-puppy-dog humidity. hope you like that kind of thing. anyway, let's talk about the metro. i swear, every map in paris is just a cryptic hieroglyphic doodle. i asked a local for directions and got "just swim" as a response. related? mildly terrifying.
ima coffee shop has the best unreliable wi-fi. i tried to stream a cooking tutorial earlier and ended up making lavender french toast by accident. reviewed? no, the Yelp page says "they accidentally started a food revolution." link here: yelp:paris-coffee. next stop: the iconic hypermarket. not actually iconic. never mind.
this neighborhood’s vibe is equal parts post-apocalyptic vintage shop and existential café. saw a guy hand-painting bags with tiny french fries. called it a work in progress. somehow it fit the mood. passing by a bookstore that only sells translated memoirs-read one page, it was ~too metal~. turn around lady-why is everything here so dramatic?
pro tip: the toilets here cost 2 euros. yes, europe, charge me for peeing. worth it for the atari-style receipt. heard a rumor the Eiffel Tower might collapse if you wear white sneakers. tried it anyway. nothing happened. maybe the locals are just bad at warnings.
neighbors? oh, nantes is a 40-minute train away, which is fine because I hate public transport. next greedy move: day trip to bretagne. bretagne? look it up. feels like a puzzle piece that doesn’t belong.
if you’re judging my priorities (i.e., prioritizing cat cuddles over street art), do your worst. saw a mural of a crying snail eating a croissant. deep. tried to take a photo but my phone died. again. tripadvisor says this district is "overrated but overpriced." yelp disagrees. both are true.
map? here’s the spot. maybe. maybe not. embed maps.google.com maps(params) here
random fact: the eiffel tower was originally called "the levitating pizza press." historians are still debating. related: unchanged. wander off, throw breadcrumbs at pigeons, and hope the next espresso is free.
p.s. found a public park with a bench that whispers existential dread. try not to overthink it.
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