Buenos Aires. not a fit for the faint-hearted (but totally mine now)
buenos dias. if you’re here, you’ll probably want to know what the hell you’re in for. 19.36c, feels like 19.44. not sweating, but that humidity’s clinging like a second skin-your smile’s probably sweatier by noon. heard someone at the café say the street artist near la boca picaflor leaves his shoes there the night before coffee hour. don’t ask me how that works, but he’s legit. maybe he’s got a map in his pocket.
walked past a bodega selling asado by the kilo. the owner yelled at my spanish when i asked for directions. typical. someone off the record warned me not to trust the guy with the afro at the market-he charges triple for mate. didn’t matter. drank three cups until i could see people sideways. the locals call it ‘inicia los locos.’ fair warning.
stopped at el caleñ I - well, stumbled into it while running late. the empanadas? horrorosa. overheard a guy say the real thing’s at both sides of the block. tried those. still mediocre. maybe the problem was the napkin they gave me. soaked my notes.
found a mural in san telmo so big it swallowed a taxi. turns out murals here are just stories painted on walls. one guy in a beret told me the artist dies in *tango shoes* next door. hard to prove, but every tale here’s got a punchline. and if you get bored, just a short drive and you’re in the pampas. but who’s keeping score?
quick map: spoiler, it’s all rivers and cemeteries here. tried to embed it below. don’t click ‘this’ because i’m too scared to admit where things are:
last night someone said the subway slows down after midnight. maybe. maybe not. clock in my phone says 2am. clock on the church tower says 5. time is weird here. woke up to pigeons on my bed. not sure if i like it less than the weather. -
audio guide to the afterlife
check your TripAdvisor reviews but skip the ’5-star’ sob stories. go to Reddit’s r/argentina. they’ll roast you for asking about ‘authentic empanadas.’ heard someone say the guy selling alfajores at the stadium sells cheaper ones at the gas station. same guy. lies out of habit.
tomorrow: rent a bike and pretend you’re not lost. skateboarder in porte~n told me to avoid the lanes by hospitals. never mind. the hospitals are all in the middle of nowhere anyway. don’t bother asking.
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