alexandria at 2 am when the wifi cuts out

woke up at 3am hungry and needing caffeine and also wondering why my dog suddenly hates my left shoe. turned on the laptop (which is propped on that one pillow i never remember where i put) and tried to find a place to work that didn’t involve sitting in my shorts in a room that smells like old chia seeds. alexandria, or whatever this city is for real, is 100% not the hackspace i imagined from pinterest. the router here insists on rebooting every time i open a spreadsheet. maybe it’s upset because i filmed a 10-second clip of my cat staring at the wall and uploaded it to instagram.

the weather’s just... there. like, it’s that 26-degree mess where your skin feels like it’s made of wet sand. feels_like? maybe someone invented that word to describe my soul right now. i just checked and it’s... there right now, hope you like that kind of thing. humidity’s like 53% which is code for ‘you’re sweating and so is your motivation.’ pressure’s 1006 which i have no idea what that means but my head feels like it’s in a soufflé.

neighbors? if you get bored, cairo is just a short drive away. i heard that one from a guy selling expired mint gum on the street corner. he looked like he’d rather be a marionette. but yeah, cairo exists. you could go. i won’t stop you. probably.

reviews? overheard a local at a café say the old library here is ‘just a bunch of ghosts and broken projectors.’ couldn’t make it out because i was paying attention to the man behind me who was crying into his lamb chop. another person claimed the beach is ‘too clean, like it’s not real.’ i rolled my eyes but also noted that the sand was somehow both hot and cold at the same time. it’s a vibe.

okay but seriously, i need wifi. this place’s 4g is slower than my grandma’s dsl. tried connecting to a café but their password was ‘password123’ which is either genius or a cry for help. maybe both.

here are some places if you care: https://www.tripadvisor.com/attractions?city=Alexandria - this one has reviews about the seafood market. some say it’s magical, others say the fish tastes like regret. https://www.yelp.com/search?find_desc=Alexandria - go here if you want to read an endless stream of ‘i ate here and it changed my life’ or ‘i ate here and my life ended.’ local board at https://www.alexandriablogs.com - ignore the ads for ‘mystical tea ceremonies.’



here’s a map of where i haven’t been yet.

it’s a tiny dot in a sea of nothingness. which is fine. i’m a digital nomad. i like nothingness. maybe.

photos to distract you from my existential dread:

and one more because i’m bored:

what should i do next? maybe sleep. or maybe try to find that same café with the ‘password123’ wifi. or maybe just stare at this wall and think about how i chose alexandria because i liked the sound of ‘alexa’ and now it’s just a city that hates me.

emmys won’t help here. neither will yoga. just brewed some tea and realized it’s cold. but at least it’s consistent. kinda like this post. messy. chaotic. probably wrong. but hey, if you liked this, maybe follow me somewhere? not linkedin. something more real. maybe instagram? or a tiny blog? i don’t know. i’m still figuring it out.

oh and p.s. if you’re reading this in alexandria right now and you have a better wifi spot - tell me. tell me everything.

You might also be interested in:

• https://votoris.com/post/kirovsks-midnight-oddities
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• https://votoris.com/post/sweat-beats-and-salt-air-dancing-through-harborviews-humid-haze
• https://votoris.com/post/the-tax-system-in-stuttgart-a-budget-students-nightmare-in-concrete
• https://votoris.com/post/bambari-nights-when-the-heat-feels-like-a-second-skin