miami in 48 hours (or until my credit card says no)

woke up this morning to the sound of cicadas outside my window and immediately knew i was in the right place. it’s that humid, stifling kind of day, you know? the air feels like someone left a cloud inside and forgot to close the window. checked my phone, 26.89c. perfect for pretending you’re doing something but actually just sweating through your band t-shirt.

so i started my day by walking into a coffee shop that smelled like burnt toast and regret. the bartender said something about ‘fresh roasts’ but i didn’t ask. instead, i ordered a margarita because all the reviews said it’s the best in the city. someone told me that.

i heard that the owner’s boyfriend runs a surf school here. maybe that’s why the drinks are so loud.

weighed my options. take a bus to the beach? hike a trail? buy a t-shirt from a guy selling vintage band tees outside a liquor store? went with the last one. found a guy in a faded black hoodie and asked if he’d sell me a ‘foolproof way to avoid tourists’. he handed me a map and a popsicle stick with a drawing of a skewbald chicken on it. said it’s the local bird, pointing at a park where i later saw one pecking at a discarded pizza roll.

the weather kept changing. went from 27.78c to 25.99c in 10 minutes. felt like a trickster. tried to take a photo of the sunset but my phone died mid-upload. forgot to mention that the battery was at 1%.

if you get bored, miami is just a short drive away. or maybe not. i got stuck in traffic for 45 minutes behind a guy playing loud music from a bumper sticker that said ‘i brake for nothing (and sometimes christmas).’ neighbors? there’s a cat in a tutu next door. i think it’s judging me.

i overheard a group at the bar saying someone got arrested for trying to take the flamingo statue home. another rumor: the ac in the historic hotels doesn’t work. both of these might be true. i didn’t check.

took a break at a beach with a sign that said ‘no littering, especially if you’re a tourist.’ ironic, right? saw a street artist painting a mural of a shark wearing sunglasses. asked him what it was about. he said, ‘haven’t decided yet. maybe tomorrow.’ classic miami.

ate at a food truck that served coconut crab rangoon. the owner told me it’s the highest rated thing on yelp.
youtube (don’t click)
review (it’s probably outdated)
local board (borders are arbitrary anyway)

ended the night at a dive bar where the bartender told me about a ’90s comedy club. asked if it’s still open. he shrugged and said, ‘ask in six months.’ also spilled my beer on a man in a suit. he didn’t complain. said it was ‘free promotion.’

left in the morning with a broken flip flop and a map full of chicken drawings. realized later the popsicle stick was actually a tour guide to ‘hidden spots.’ took it with me. don’t ask why.

someone told me that the ocean is just a parking lot for boats. idk if that’s true. i did see a sea turtle eating a plastic bottle though. felt bad.

if you come here, bring layers. bring a sense of humor. and maybe a waterproof phone case. the weather’s a mood reader.

image1 [alt=a bird is standing in the grass by the water]
image2 [alt=a bird is perched on a branch in the water]
image3 [alt=a close up of the hood of a classic car]

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