Jakarta’s Sticky Secrets: Sweat, Scooter Chaos, and Seriously Strong Kopi
okay, so i’m pretty sure i’m running on fumes and the sheer volume of clove cigarettes i’ve inhaled. jakarta. seriously? i went in expecting…well, i don’t even know what i expected. like, a curated Instagram feed of temples and perfectly arranged flower stalls. what i got was…this. it’s humid. like, aggressively humid. i just checked and it's...there right now, hope you like that kind of thing. the pressure is 1008, feels like 26.49, temp max 26.49, temp min 26.49. it’s clinging to you like a really enthusiastic mosquito.
first off, the scooters. jesus. they’re everywhere. weaving through traffic like they’re auditioning for a demolition derby. i nearly got flattened three times today. i swear, the drivers here operate on a completely different level of spatial awareness. it’s…intense. i tried to take a photo of one doing a particularly impressive maneuver - almost lost a finger.
and the food? don’t even get me started. i’ve been living on nasi goreng and sate since i landed. it’s glorious, greasy, and unbelievably cheap. i found this little warung near my guesthouse - ‘Warung Mak Andam’ - someone told me that the chicken satay is legendary. i’m not disappointed. it’s basically a religious experience. i also tried jaje, traditional Indonesian sweets. they’re…sticky. like, really sticky. i’m pretty sure i’m going to be finding bits of jaje in my shoes for the next month.
my accommodation is…rustic. let’s just say it’s “authentically Jakarta.” it’s a tiny room above a shop selling phone chargers and questionable socks. the view is of a brick wall and a very loud motorcycle. but hey, it’s cheap, and it’s got wifi. which is a win. i’m trying to find a decent coffee shop, but honestly, the kopi here is insane. it’s strong, it’s sweet, and it’s served in tiny cups. i’m pretty sure i’ve consumed my body weight in caffeine. i found a place called ‘Senayan Coffee’ - it’s a bit of a trek, but worth it. they roast their own beans.
i overheard gossip at the warung about a new art installation in Kota Tua (Old Town). apparently, it’s a giant, shimmering sculpture made entirely of recycled plastic bottles. someone said it’s “a commentary on consumerism and the state of the planet.” i’m not entirely sure what it means, but it sounds cool. i’m planning on checking it out tomorrow.
*Pro-Tip: Download the Gojek or Grab app. Seriously. It’s the only way to get around without ending up as roadkill. Also: Learn a few basic Indonesian phrases. “Terima kasih” (thank you) goes a long way. Don’t: Wear white. You will regret it. Seriously: Bring insect repellent. Like, a lot.
If you get bored, Surabaya and Bandung are just a short drive away. I heard that the beaches in Bali are amazing, but they’re a bit of a trek. I’m thinking of heading there next week.
I’m trying to find a good place to get a massage, but Yelp is being a total jerk and not listing anything decent. TripAdvisor seems a little more reliable, though. Check out this place: https://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurants-g298001-Jakarta.html
And for the best kopi*, definitely hit up Senayan Coffee: https://www.senayancoffee.com/
I’m also trying to track down some vintage batik fabrics - there’s a market near Menteng that looks promising. https://www.jakartamarket.com/
Okay, I need more coffee. And maybe a shower. And possibly a new pair of shoes. Jakarta, you’re a trip.
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