hamburg: where the fog and the fries conspire to ruin your camera lens
right so i'm sitting here nursing a cup of something that tastes vaguely of regret and *elbe river water, trying to figure out how to get salt spray off my sensor. this city? man, it's like someone handed a fog machine to a speicherstadt warehouse and said 'make it moody'. i just checked the weather app and it's the kind of damp chill that makes your bones whistle, hope you like that kind of thing. currently sweating through three layers because apparently 7.78 degrees is 'brisk' to germans. maybe if i jump in the alster lake it'll warm up? nah, that'd just ruin my last backup lens.
someone told me that the fish market brunch is worth getting up at 4am for, but then again that same local also swore the reeperbahn was 'family-friendly after 9pm'. yeah right. heard a rumor from a tattoo artist that the secret to good labskaus is... well, best not to know. honestly, if your camera gear gets stolen here, just blame the seagulls - they'll take anything that isn't nailed down. saw one try to make off with a tourist's fischbrötchen yesterday. gotta admire the hustle.
if you get bored staring at st. michaelis' church through this perpetual gloom, bremen is basically next door for some medieval whistling nonsense, or lübeck if you want to pretend you're in a gingerbread house. though honestly? the hafencity is where it's at. those glass buildings cutting through the mist? cinematic as hell. just don't bring your wide-angle - the humidity will fog it faster than your ex's new relationship status. pro tip: bring silica gel packs. more useful than a map here.
found this hole-in-the-wall near landungsbrücken serving currywurst that'll make you question life choices - in the best way. check their yelp page for questionable hours though. also, the miniatur wonderland? yeah, it's tiny. someone said it's 'bigger than it looks' - that person probably thinks eimsbüttel is 'quaint'. save your euros for the planten un blomen* when the rare sun appears. that's when the magic happens, and not the 'my camera died' kind. tripadvisor says the best shots are at dawn when the fog thins. they lie. it's just less damp.
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