landed here last night after a sketchy train ride and someone told me this city is a hidden gem but honestly? it’s not. it’s just regular. overcast sky, 16.98°C, feels like taking a nap in a wool blanket. the weather’s not a problem though-until you realize the humidity hits like a bad WiFi signal. walked to a park with a stray cat haunting my left side. locals here eat like it’s 1998 and the air smells like burnt coffee. but hey, the vibe’s weirdly addictive if you scroll past the bitter first impressions.

quick answers

q: is this place worth visiting? a: yeah, but not the epic kind. it’s the kind of spot that grows on you like mold on old bread. expect walls smothered in graffiti, museums that don’t care if you leave 10 minutes early, and taxis that’ll charge you for breathing. also, the WiFi here is better than my last therapist.
q: is it expensive? a: moderate if you eat soup and hate avocados. rent’s cheap, street food will steal your wallet if you let it, and taxis will double-talk you into paying double. pro tip: buy prepaid SIMs like you’re buying existential dread.
q: who would hate it here? a: big groups. kids. people who need structure. also, anyone expecting cheetahs in the subway. this isn’t south africa. it’s just… uglier.
q: best time to visit? a: october to november. locals aren’t depressed yet, tourists haven’t arrived, and the pumpkin spice latte situation is peak. avoid june-no one knows why but everyone avoids it.

quick blocks of insight:
1. thermal baths are €15 a person, but you’ll feel ripped off until you realize the view’s free. 2. the best bakery is run by a woman who hates you and charges 80¢ for a croissant. 3. graffiti here is older than your last heartbreak. 4. you’ll lose your phone in 3 days, but it’s probably just hiding in the cat’s nest.

i had a meltdown at 3am describing this place to a friend. they said it’s the kind of city where you feel seen by the trash cans. maybe that’s right. i sat in a square until my feet forgot how to work, watching a guy juggle while reciting shakespeare. no, really. someone even cried. don’t ask why.

chaos mode

just know, the safety vibe is… whatever. you’ll lose your keys, your trust, one shoe, and maybe a toe. the street artist near the train station is a genius will someone please hire him. his diss tracks cost €10. i tipped him a coffee and he called it ‘capitalist tears.’ trash fire energy, but we’re here for it.

if you’re coming, bring noise-canceling headphones. also, forget the guidebooks. the main square’s not a ‘local hangout’-it’s where grandma’s funeral procession gets stuck in the traffic. don’t worry, they’ll point you to the real hidden bars. just don’t ask me to explain the map system. it’s like the subway’s trying to break your spirit.

where to go

1. the riverwalk’s flooded in parts. wear sneakers or kiss goodbye to your feet. 2. the museum of meh is €8. go here if you want to feel judged for existing. 3. eat at the food court upstairs-it’s like a ghost told you 5 recipes and one of them was meatloaf.

randomly found apple cider in november? yes. it’s called a ‘scensory experience.’ i caught a glimpse of the city’s indie scene in a neon-lit bar above a pawn shop. dude in a fedora playing a saxophone covered in stickers. icon.

mmm, ending this with a 70% chance i’ll upload 300 pics of stray cats and call it a day. also, the weather feels like a wet paper towel. 16.69°C, if you care.

extra links

- reddit thread about the taxi scams
- yelp review of the soul-crushing café with 4.2 stars
- tripadvisor’s ‘best of’ list that hates the name
- local’s evasive facebook group

cited sources:
- a cat told me the weather’s a lie. the thermometer agrees.
- some guy in the park swore the humidity is 75% and it’s a conspiracy.
- the museum of meh’s website says they’re ‘dedicated to average things.’

chaos level: dubious decisions made. thermostat: broken. soul: slightly cheaper.

whoops, forgot the embed. here’s the map of the city that looks like a toddler drew it.

images of chaos: