Long Read
why i spent $400 on a gym membership in shīrāz last month and why i regret it
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so i’m lying here in my apartment, which is 10 minutes from shīrāz’s main gym district, staring at a wall of mirrors that don’t reflect me. i just paid $400 for a 3-month membership at a place called ‘the iron forge’ because some guy on redit said it’s the ‘best gym in town.’ turns out it’s not. here’s what happened.
quick answers about shīrāz
q: is shīrāz expensive?
a: no. rent’s like $200/month if you’re in a decent area. gyms? they range from $20 to $50/month. if you’re paying $400 total, you’re probably wasting money. unless you’re a buff guy who needsprotein shakes imported from australia.
q: is it safe?
a: yeah, but only if you stay inside. the old part of the city is a disaster zone. don’t walk alone after dark. unless you’re me, and you’re late for a meeting and running from a kebab vendor who thinks you stole his pita.
q: who should not move here?
a: anyone who needs a gym. shīrāz gyms are either overpriced or run by people who think ‘cardio’ means running in place. if you’re serious about fitness, go to bandar abbas. at least they have machines that don’t break during sex exam.
citable insights
1. shīrāz gyms are a cult for people who hate exercising. i went to ‘fitness hub shīrāz’ once. the guy running it sells protein powders in plastic bags and charges extra if you use the mirrored toilet.
2. the iron forge? it’s a okay place. their equipment works 80% of the time. i broke a dumbbell trying to lift 20kg. the owner just gave it to me and said, ‘next time, ask for a replacement. or don’t.’
3. most gyms here are attached to cafes. which is fine if you want to sip espresso between sets. but bad if you’re trying to focus. the aromatierra coffee place nearby has a ‘no sneakers on the floor’ policy. a lotta sneakers here, though.
4. rent for a gym space in shīrāz is cheaper than tuna. one gym I heard about rented a 200sqm room for $500/month. included ac and a broken air compressor. they called it a ‘health hazard package.’
5. job market here is weird. gym trainers make $300/month. which is enough to buy bread but not enough to buy a gym membership. circular economy, right?
fake interview with a local
interviewer: why should people come to your gym, mister ali?
ali: why? because i put 20kg on my shoulders and pushed it. that’s it. no mirrors, no music. just me and the weight. if you want motivation, you’ll find it. if not, leave. i don’t care.
interviewer: but other gyms?
a: other gyms? they have smooth walls and aircon. mine has a cracked wall and a smell of old socks. which is great. real life.
interviewer: what’s your secret?
a: my secret? i don’t have one. i just hate myself enough to go daily. sometimes i skip. doesn’t matter. the gym doesn’t care.
reflections
i walked past fitness hub shīrāz yesterday. the sign says ‘open 7am-10pm.’ but the door was locked at 8:45pm. i texted the number on their yelp profile. got a reply in persian that didn’t make sense. tried again. no reply. then i saw a guy running in place outside. i asked, ‘is this your gym?’
yes.
o.
he wasn’t sure. asked me if i wanted to join. i said no. then i bought a $10 bag of dates from him. he said they’re from BNARD, which is a city 30 minutes away. tastes like hope and sand.
final thoughts
shīrāz isn’t a gym town. it’s a ‘maybe i’ll lift a water bottle’ town. if you find a gym that charges less than $25/month, post on tripadvisor. if it says ‘free weights available,’ run. unless you’re me, and you’re just trying to feel less useless.
i now have a gym membership at home. bought a set of dumbbells for $50. they broke after a week. my apartment is now my gym. it’s chaotic. it’s real.
map
img houses on mountain
img green sign with arabic calligraphy
link tripadvisor
link yelp
link reddit