why i spent 40 hours finding a cafe in the city that nobody cares about
i didn’t plan to write this but here we are. last monday i woke up to 21.73°c outside and immediately regretted not bringing a blanket. turns out the weather here is a surprise party nobody invited you to. the feels_like is 20.98°c which is basically ‘i’m moderately confused about climate’. in my head, i was imaging a cozy european town but instead i’m in this concrete jungle where the air smells like burnt toast and existential dread. 19.94°c at night means you either dress like a potato or a vampire. either way, the locals seem to do it effortlessly. pressure is 1023hpa which is just a fancy way of saying ‘you don’t need a pressure suit here’. the grass? there isn’t grass. there’s concrete. and maybe a stray cat plotting your downfall. humidity is 39% which is enough to make me question why i don’t live in a dryer. sea_level is 1023hpa but ground_level drops to 1004hpa. not sure what that means but i suspect it’s connected to the fact that my shoes smell like mildew.
quick answers
q: is this place worth visiting?
a: yeah but only if you want to chase pizza slices and people who stare. there’s a 24/7 diner that’s basically a shrine to bad decisions.
q: is it expensive?
a: only if you spend money. hostels are $10/night. that’s acceptable. but the empanadas from that one cart on 3rd street cost $2 each. and i did the math.
q: who would hate it here?
a: people who like silence. or air conditioning. or people. locals here are loud and tribal. if you’re not into that, run.
q: best time to visit?
a: 4am. everyone’s either sleeping or working. no tourists, no problems. just you and the vending machines.
cuisine is a mess. the pasta I had was reused oil but it tasted like a memory. that’s both good and bad. the local said once “maybe the chef cried during that dish’s creation”. that’s the vibe here. everything’s half-baked but still worth a shot.
maps are useless. google told me this place is 12km from downtown but my scooter died and i ended up walking through a park that probably isn’t on any tourist map. there was something magical about that. the trees whispered secrets and the squirrels judged my life choices. but hey, at least i didn’t get robbed. safety vibe? real. it’s not like some cities where you check your backpack every 5 seconds. but don’t stay out past midnight in alleys. the things here get weird.
i heard a local warn me about the bus system. it’s cheaper than rideshares but the schedule is written by a child with ADHD. i took it anyway and ended up in a situation where i had to negotiate with a man in a trench coat for 20 minutes to get home. he accepted a juice box. that’s how much the system respects you.
quick answers again
q: should i bring an umbrella?
a: no. rain chances are 12%. but bring a sweater.
q: is the wifi reliable?
a: only if you like mediocre internet. cafes have it but it’s like touching a wet sock.
someone told me the nightlife is a trap. clubs here are for people who ‘d shirtless at a concert and forgot to develop a social life’. i went once and paid $15 for a drink that tasted like regret. it’s true. the DJ played the same song for 2 hours.
i keep thinking about the weather data. temp min is 19.94°c. that’s chilly. temp max is 23.45°c. that’s warm. feels like is 20.98’s middle ground. it’s like the city is trying to trick you into feeling okay but it’s not working. maybe it’s strategies.
so here’s my take. this place isn’t for everyone. but if you’re broke and curious and capable of embracing chaos, it’s your new home. the coffee here is better than it should be. the people are memorable. the chaos is its own kind of art.
links
-(someone’s 2-star rant about the buses)
-(review claims the empanadas are ‘unverified’)
-(thread about the scooter incident)
-(article with hot takes on the weather)
