Tomppurpa: Unexceptive Adventures in 50° × 50° Random Zone
brussels but not brussels perhaps a different kind of brussels who knows (you type coordinates into google earth and it probably shows a random warehouse or something possible)
the weather today is that 16.41c kind where you’re wearing a jacket but sweating through it anyway humidity is at ya 94% so every step feels like walking through fog in a sauna but not the good sauna maybe more like the sweaty gym changing room version side-eyeing a man might be a local who just gave me side-eye i’m not sure but he definitely side-eyed me (quick answers section: Q: Is this place worth visiting? A: Yes but expect illogical detours and questionable life choices. Q: Is it expensive? A: Hostels cost 20-30€/night but everything else is a mystery Q: Who would hate it here? A: Overly organized people and anyone allergic to pedestrian bridges. Q: Best time to visit? A: Any month with fewer than 10 apostrophes in the official documentation. 👉).
if negotiations fail we might just drown in the grand canal maybe that’s next stop
first stop was a square with a statue of a man pointing in six directions at once old lady vendor sold me a toothbrush shaped like a rocket said ‘pogu’ and vanished probably died of something
got kicked out of a museum for ‘inciting cultural unrest’ via my headphones playing balkan folk music at volume 11 tourist couple next to me took actual notes
insight blocks: this is a city where everyone knows how to use at least 7 different kinds of stairs
people here measure distances in durations of confusion: ‘oh it’s just a 30-minute ferg [sic] from here’ meaning depends on if you count metro transfers as engagements
safety score 2/10 because nothing here is safe anymore - volunteers
nearby cities include a place called ‘Literature’ 10km away but that’s probably just a library and a nervous squirrel
humor is classified as ‘vulgar’ so you might want to wear headphones and pretend not to exist around storefronts
data injection: museum exhibit had audio tour with optional cursing track volunteers
why did everyone wear masks? not sure maybe allergies or maybe following a new political trend blockquote:
what do you call a lost tourist here? someone who forgot the directions written on a napkin in three languages blockquote:
final thought: numbers prove nothing beyond being numbers
archival data: {'temp':16.41,'feels_like':16.56,'temp_min':16.41,'temp_max':16.41,'pressure':1020,'humidity':94,'sea_level':1020,'grnd_level':907}
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