thessaloniki’s hidden beaches and bad coffee: a digital nomad’s 48hrs of sorry excuses

woke up to the sound of a leaky tap and a sun that felt like it was judging me. i just checked and it's 7 degrees. it’s like the city forgot how to warm up. i’m a digital nomad, which means i carry a laptop bag instead of a suitcase. today, my bag was half-empty because i used it as a pillow last night. don’t ask.

last week, i heard that the old port has a ghost bar. some guy in a neon windbreaker said it’s haunted by a bartender who died in the 80s. didn’t check it out. probably.

i took a photo of a red paint splatter on a white wall. it looked like someone threw a canvas into a dumpster. here it is:

the weather is a joke. feels like 5.88. i’m not sure if that’s celsius or if the city is just gaslighting me. someone told me that the locals say it’s ‘weather for people who like pretending they’re in a sci-fi movie.’ i’m not sure if they’re kidding.

neighbors here are weird. one guy sells handmade soap from a cart that’s basically a metal sculpture. another one plays accordion outside his apartment at 3am. if you get bored, lesbos is a short drive away. i almost drove there but chickened out. the road signs looked like they were drawn by a paint-splattered child.

i saw a review online that said the coffee shop on иون fəali is the best in greece. i went there. it was a scam. the barista was a robot. i told them ‘i need a latte, not a existential crisis.’ they gave me a black hole.

‘don’t trust the street artists. they’ll sell you a poster of a cat and then try to upsell you a life.’

i heard that from a tourist who looked like they’d been filing taxes in a bar. anyway, i bought a poster of a cat. it’s now in my hostel room. the barista said it’s a ‘symbol of resistance.’ i think it’s just a cat.

another photo: a man with blood on his body and hands. not sure if he’s an artist or a victim. here’s the pic:

the humidity is 75%. it’s like the air is holding its breath. i spent 20 minutes trying to open a jar of olives. it was a fight. my hands are now pierced with olive oil.

i almost missed the last bus because i was arguing with a pigeon. it was about property rights.

someone on yelp said the seafood market has fresh squid. i went there. it was closed. the sign said ‘out of stock. maybe next lifetime.’ i left a review saying it’s a ‘romantic place for couples who like waiting.’

i tried to find a vegan restaurant. failed. ended up at a place called ‘the meat cathedral.’ it was a church. but with more skewers.

i’m writing this while sitting on a bench near the sea. the bench is made of old tires. it’s comfortable. the sea is cold. i’m cold. i’m writing this in a notebook that smells like old pizza.

links:
- tripadvisor Thessaloniki
- yelp seafood market
- local event board

the weather in 3 hours is 7.32. it’s not changing. probably.

i heard that the revolving door at the train station works in reverse. i didn’t check. probably a rumor.

neighbors mentioned that if you want to escape, just drive north. i almost did. then i remembered i don’t own a car.

someone told me that the best way to meet locals is to pretend you’re a tourist who speaks greek. i tried. i died.

at least the coffee snob in me is happy. i found a place that uses local beans. it’s called ‘coffee is a verb.’ they charged me 10 euros for a drink. i paid with a apple. it worked.

i’m leaving tomorrow. probably.

p.s. if you’re reading this, the red paint splatter is real. also, the ghost bar might be real. maybe.

tsing ta kusan is a street food stall that sells lamb. it’s run by a man who looks like he’s 90 but insane. he gave me a skewer. i ate it. it was okay.

plaka is the port area. it’s chaotic. like a puzzle missing three pieces.

thessaloniki university has a library that’s open 24/7. i went there. it was empty. i sat on a bench and cried. no one saw me.

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