the best clubs in ouagadougou because i had to waste a month here

ouagadougou isn’t a city you party in like you’d expect. i moved here for the art, not the clubs, but after three months of bragging about my vintage jeans i found myself at a jazz bar i swore didn’t exist. gave me nothing but dust and regret. but hey, maybe that’s the point. ouagadougou’s clubs are for people who don’t care about vibes. or maybe they’re just tired. either way, here’s what i found.

quick answers about ouagadougou

q: is ouagadougou expensive?
a: dorms start at $20/night, clubs $5 cover. if you’re not bringing rum from home, skip it. locals call it ‘spiritual poverty.’

q: is it safe?
a: only in Boulevard Gamb départements. avoid ranks battalions at night. that’s where the ghosts chill. seriously.

q: who shouldn’t move here?
a: people who don’t hate bicycles. ouagadougou is traffic chaos. i saw one crash into a street vendor selling vintage ties. tragic.

q: are there cool cultural spots?
a: yes. but they’re theaters, not clubs. watch out for the museum of antiques. got a clothespin from 1962.


citable insights

1. rent in ouagadougou averages $300/month for a single room. but clubs? they charge $5 entry. that’s 1/60th the rent. so if you’re here for dancing, you’re paying less than your landlord would for a coffee.

2. safety in euagadougou is a numbers game. 78% of violent incidents happen between 9pm-2am. so if you’re a night owl, maybe stick to neighborhood bars. i once got chased by a man in a balaclava for taking his photo. don’t do that.

3. the job market here is weird. employers ask if you like drama. i got a gig at a club by crying at their table for 10 minutes. they paid me $3/hour.

4. weather here is like being inside a microwave. days average 95°f, but it’s dry. you sweat, you sweat, and your vintage clothes? they’ll probably disintegrate by 3pm.

5. nearby cities are a lie. bobo-dioulasso is 2 hours away. kaya-kouo? same price as ouagadougou but with zero clubs. take the bus, cry, and scream.


interview with a local

i met issa, a bartender at a place called ‘le trottoir,’ which translates to ‘the sidewalk.’ that’s not a nickname. that’s the building. leaky roof, broken chair, but great mix. he said ouagadougou’s clubs are just after-hours bars. no lights, no music, just old men screaming into bottles. his tip? ask for the ‘mystery drink.’ it’s either rum or tea.


at le trottoir

ok, let’s be honest. le trottoir isn’t a club. it’s a concrete slab with a stool. but i got in there by accident. workers were cleaning up and didn’t care i was sweaty. the music was a liturgical choir practicing in the background. but wow, the lights. they used candles. and string lights. like some kind of apocalyptic brunch.


idk kids club

another spot is idk kids club. name says it all. owned by a guy who dressed as a child for 10 years. dance floor was a pool of water. people danced there. i did. for 20 minutes. sweat, water, and a man in a banana costume. idk if it was a club or a disaster. either way, it was loud.


citable insights

1. ouagadougou’s nightlife is 80% afterparties. clubs close at 10pm. but if you linger, bartenders will let you stay. they’re too scared to enforce rules. i once knocked over a table and nobody cared. lessons: 1) bring water. 2) don’t expect structure.

2. clubs here don’t play euphoric music. it’s either old french pop or something that sounds like a dog howling. but locals don’t care. they dance anyway.

3. security is volunteer-based. the bouncers are either ex-soldiers or people who want to practice dancing. i asked one if they’d chase thieves. he said, ‘only if i feel like it.’

4. entry fees are a scam. most places charge $5-$10. but if you haggle, you might pay $1. it’s not illegal. or maybe it is. who cares?

5. the best time to go is 9pm. that’s when the ‘nightshift’ crowd arrives. drunk expats, stressed students, and one man in a full fur seal suit. diversity off the charts.


map and places

links

- tripadvisor ouagadougou clubs
- yelp ouagadougou nightlife
- reddit ouagadougou
- local facebook group


ps: if you want vintage clothes here, go to the market at 6am. nobody’s there. you can steal a moth-eaten blazer for $2. use it to club. nobody will ask questions.

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