Stuttgart: When Your Budget is Tighter Than My Eyelids
just got back from stuttgart and my brain feels like a washing machine after a sock-eating incident. you know that feeling? where everything spins and you’re not sure if you’re coming or going? yeah, that’s been my vibe. *stuttgart is weird. like, really weird. i just checked the weather and it’s currently playing hard to get-hovering around that ‘i’ll pretend to be cool but actually need a sweater’ temperature. guess you’ll have to pack layers unless you enjoy looking like a confused raisin.
so here’s the tea: if your wallet’s screaming for mercy, markthalle is your new best friend. it’s basically a food bazaar where your €5 can buy you dignity (in the form of bread) and possibly a stolen sample. someone told me the sushi stand there is sketchier than my college dorm fridge, but it’s €4 a pop so who cares? check it yourself.
and oh god, the neighbors. if you’re bored out of your skull, tübingen and heidelberg are basically next door like that one cousin who always shows up unannounced. great for day trips when you’ve maxed out your student loan on kebab. speaking of kebab-heard a rumor that the döner place near hauptbahnhof is run by actual turkish grandmas who’ll judge your life choices while grilling. yelp says it’s legit.
“dude, if you go to the mercedes museum, skip the audio guide. just stand by the racing cars and make vroom noises-saves €7 and gets you weird looks.” - some guy at a hostel who smelled like regret and beer
rosenstein park? cool. free? cooler. saw a guy trying to teach his parrot to skateboard. true story. also, the botanical garden is €6 but worth it if you’re into plants that look like they’re from another planet. tripadvisor’s mixed reviews will either hype you up or make you question your life choices.
honestly, stuttgart’s like that one friend who’s kinda weird but has a cool apartment. the hbf is chaos personified, but the beer gardens are life. just avoid the swabian specialties unless you want to spend three days deciphering menus. someone warned me that maultaschen* are ‘dumplings that lie about their contents’ and they weren’t wrong.
final verdict? it’s a mess. it’s expensive. it’s full of people who’ll judge your fashion sense. but it’s also got trams, hills, and a vibe that slaps. go if your student loan allows it. if not, just watch this video and pretend.
p.s. humidity’s 43% - great for frizzy hair, terrible for dignity. pack dry shampoo.
p.p.s. the pressure’s 1019 hpa. which i’m pretty sure means it’s gonna rain on your parade. literally.
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