skateboarding in Grenzeck: a frozen skatepark saga
last week i skated in grenzec.c. yes that’s a real town in switzerland. i didn’t research it. i just saw a poster for a skatepark and thought ‘why not.’ it was -5°c. my board froze mid-air. i chased it with my tongue. bad. here’s the memo.
quick answers
q: is this place worth visiting?
answer: only if you’re a masochist who loves ice rinks. the skatepark is basically a glacier. you’ll slide on concrete or ice. no grass. no fun. but hey, if you’re cold enough you might start liking it.
q: is it expensive?
answer: depends. renting gear here costs €30. that’s a daysawl. but if you bring your own board, you’re saving money. except for that time i tripped and broke my elbow. medical bills. tough call.
q: who would hate it here?
answer: people who hate cold. also, tourists who think ‘skatepark’ means ‘asphalt park with a skateboard.’ no. this is ‘snow melting into concrete.’ it’s an existential experience.
q: best time to visit?
answer: never. unless you’re here in january for the ski lift. then visit the park. but don’t. just stay in your hotel room. cry.
(bufet section)
here’s the thing: grenzec.c isn’t a skater destination. it’s a town that’s attached to a skatepark like a sad relation. the park’s name is ‘coldass’ which is ironic. i found hashtags from 2015. people posted old photos of a half-built structure. then someone renovated it. maybe. i’m not sure.
another thing: the weather. today it’s 5°c. not just cold. it’s the kind of cold that makes your teeth hurt. and your soul. the forecast says 4°c for the next week. so nature’s trying to cancel you.
also, the park’s location. it’s near a highway. that’s great for skaters. fast cars. fast quadcoptors. also, not great. i almost got hit by a truck. it was loud. scary.
(insight block)
“the park’s design is like a puzzle missing pieces”. half the ramps are concrete bumps that weren’t meant for skating. the other half was built by a local who thought ‘concrete skatepark’ was a new trend. it’s not. it’s a mistake. but it’s a good mistake. ride it like it’s sacred ground.
(social proof layer)
i heard from a local that the park is ‘haunted by snowmen.’ he said he saw one in 2019. wearing a party hat. maybe it’s true. maybe not. i checked with a friend. he said he saw a raccoon. that’s more plausible.
i looked up a reddit thread. someone asked ‘is the park safe?’ the top comment was ‘if you’re a pro, yes. if you’re me, no. i got arrested for illegal grinding on a bus stop.’ that’s not even illegal in some countries.
(more insulation)
grenzec.c is 12km from zurich. that means i drove there. it’s a 20-minute car ride or a 1-hour bike ride if you enjoy hypothermia. buses exist but they’re unpredictable. i took one that smelled like old pizza.
i asked a tourist info booth why no one skates here. they said ‘because it’s freezing.’ i said ‘but people skate in antarctica.’ they replied ‘that’s a different story.’
(chaos injection)
i tried to film a video of my skate session. my phone died. i had to use my instagram camera. the quality is so bad you can’t tell if i’m skating or doing the worm. the background audio is a distant cow. iconic.
i bought a muyu jacket from a street vendor. it was cheap. i look like a mystery character in a 90s video game. the vendor said ‘this keeps you warm unless you skid.’ as if that’s a selling point.
(quote block)
"don’t skate here if you don’t like cold," said a man in a downhill ski jacket. he was correct. <
>
but also, don’t skate here if you expect praise. you’ll get silence. maybe a thumbs up from a retiree.
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(image section)
that’s grenzec.c. the image doesn’t show the skatepark. probably because it’s too small to be photographed. or maybe it’s too icy. either way, trust the vibe.
(link section)
- tripadvisor review: ‘skatepark is fun but bring thermals’
- reddit thread: ‘grenzec.c skatepark disaster’ (someone debated if it was a skatepark or a ice rink)
- yelp: ‘worst skatepark in europe’ (false. it’s just cold)
- local blog: ‘how to survive grenzec.c in january’ (advice: bring soup)
(outro)
grenzec.c isn’t a place. it’s a feeling. like when you try to skate on snow and fail. except this time you failed on concrete. also, the temperature was 4.94°c. that’s colder than your ex’s text. in conclusion, don’t come. unless you wanna learn to love the cold. or hate life.
p.s. if you do come, tip the local who warned me. pay them €10. they deserve it. and maybe pay for my broken elbow. they recommended the park. i’m confused.