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Singapore Slinging and Sweat: A Botanist's Bewilderment

@Adrian Cole3/9/2026blog

okay, so singapore. where do i even begin? i’m elara, by the way, and i’m a botanist. usually, i’m knee-deep in peat moss and arguing with lab assistants about the proper pH levels for orchids. this? this was…different. i came here chasing rumors of a particularly elusive species of mangrove fern, but honestly, i think i found more confusion than chlorophyll.


I just checked and it's…a humid blanket draped over everything right now. Like, seriously, you could water plants just by breathing. The air hangs heavy, thick with the scent of durian (which, let’s be honest, is an acquired taste) and something vaguely floral that i can’t quite place. It’s…intense. I’m used to controlled environments, you know? My greenhouse is practically sterile. This is…wild.

I spent a ridiculous amount of time wandering around *Gardens by the Bay. It’s…a lot. The Supertrees are genuinely impressive, though. Like, sci-fi impressive. I overheard someone - a very tanned gentleman in a linen suit - muttering about how they’re “a monument to human hubris.” Dramatic, much? But he had a point. It’s a manufactured paradise, and that’s…interesting from a botanical perspective. It’s like observing an ecosystem in a terrarium, only on a massive scale. You can check out some reviews on TripAdvisor here: https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attraction_Review-g298763-d162024-Reviews-Gardens_by_the_Bay-Singapore.html

My quest for the mangrove fern led me to Pulau Ubin, which was a much better experience. It felt…older. Less polished. More real. I rented a bike (a rusty, charming thing) and just cycled around, getting hopelessly lost. That’s where I met a guy selling coconuts - he gave me some seriously drunk advice about where to find the fern. Apparently, it only grows near the abandoned quarry. He also said something about “angry spirits” guarding it. I’m not entirely sure I believe in spirits, but I’m not ruling anything out at this point.

Someone told me that the hawker centers are the only way to eat in Singapore. And they were right. I spent a small fortune on chili crab and laksa. Seriously, the food is incredible. I even braved the durian. Once. It was…an experience. Yelp has a pretty good list of hawker stalls: https://www.yelp.com/search?find_desc=hawker+centers&find_loc=Singapore. I’m already dreaming of going back for more.

I also spent an afternoon wandering through Tiong Bahru, which is this really cool, art deco neighborhood. The architecture is stunning. It felt like stepping back in time. I found a tiny bookstore crammed with vintage maps and botanical illustrations. I may or may not have bought everything they had. It’s a good place to check out local events too: https://www.timeandspace.com.sg/.

If you get bored, Kuala Lumpur and Johor Bahru* are just a short drive away. I didn’t make it there this time, but I’m already planning a return trip. I need to find that fern, you know? And eat more chili crab.

I’m still not sure I found the fern. I did, however, find a deep appreciation for air conditioning and a newfound respect for the resilience of plants in extreme conditions. And a serious craving for laksa. Oh, and I learned that Singaporeans are incredibly polite, even when you’re hopelessly lost and asking them for directions to a mythical fern. I even found a local forum discussing the fern: https://www.hardwarezone.com.sg/forums/nature-outdoor/fern-identification-mangrove-area-884877. Maybe I can get some leads there.

Honestly, it’s been a whirlwind. A sweaty, delicious, confusing whirlwind. I’m exhausted, but in a good way. Like, I-need-a-week-long-nap-and-a-giant-bowl-of-laksa kind of way. Singapore, you’ve been…something else.

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About the author: Adrian Cole

Exploring the weird and wonderful corners of the internet.

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