San Juan: Sweat, Rum, and Questionable Street Art (Seriously)

okay, so. san juan. i’m back. barely. i feel like i’ve aged approximately seven years in the last week, mostly due to the humidity. i just checked and it’s…a thick, clinging blanket of warmth right now, hope you like that kind of thing. like, seriously, my hair has achieved a new level of frizz that defies physics.

I’m a touring session drummer, you see. Which means I’m used to cramped vans, questionable hotel rooms, and the constant hum of amplifiers. But san juan…san juan is different. it’s got this…energy. chaotic, vibrant, slightly unsettling energy. i was here for a gig - a corporate thing, ugh - and decided to extend my stay a bit. big mistake? maybe. unforgettable? absolutely.

First things first: old san juan is gorgeous. like, postcard-perfect. cobblestone streets, brightly colored buildings, wrought-iron balconies overflowing with flowers. it’s all very instagrammable. but don’t get lulled into a false sense of tranquility. the heat will get you. and the pigeons. oh god, the pigeons. they’re fearless. i swear one of them tried to steal my empanada.

I spent a lot of time wandering around, trying to find decent coffee (a drummer needs caffeine, obviously). found a place called Cafe Cola’o - check it out if you’re in the area TripAdvisor Link. it was…okay. not life-changing, but it did the job. someone told me that the real coffee snobs head to a place in Santurce, but i didn’t have time to trek out there.

Speaking of Santurce, that’s where the real action is. street art everywhere. some of it is genuinely amazing, some of it is…questionable. i saw one mural that looked like a toddler had been let loose with a can of spray paint. but hey, it’s still art, right? i spent a good hour just wandering around, taking photos (i’m a drummer, not a photographer, but the light was good). you can find some cool galleries there too, if that’s your thing. check out Yelp for some recommendations Yelp Link.

I overheard some drunk tourists complaining about the lack of air conditioning everywhere. they’re not wrong. seriously, invest in a portable fan. you’ll thank me later.

“apparently, the best mofongo is at this tiny place in Rio Piedras, but you have to go on a Tuesday and order it with shrimp. and don’t even think about asking for ketchup.”

I didn’t make it to Rio Piedras, but i did try the mofongo. it was…heavy. but good. very, very good. i also had a lot of rum. probably too much.

if you get bored, mayagüez and ponce are just a short drive away. i didn’t have time to explore them, but i’ve heard good things. i also heard that the beaches on the west coast are way less crowded than the ones in san juan. something a local warned me about, anyway.

okay, i’m rambling. basically, san juan is a sensory overload. it’s hot, it’s loud, it’s chaotic, and it’s…amazing. just be prepared to sweat. a lot. and maybe invest in some industrial-strength bug spray. and definitely try the mofongo.

pro-tips:
wear light clothing. seriously. anything loose and breathable.
*stay hydrated. water, juice, whatever. just drink something.
*learn a few basic spanish phrases. it’ll go a long way.
*be aware of your surroundings. it’s generally safe, but petty theft can happen.
*embrace the chaos.* it’s part of the charm.

check out this forum for more local tips Local Forum Link

and finally, don’t forget to tip your bartenders. they work hard.

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