If you scroll past that 25.72°C, 72% humidity, and it’s 1014hPa-nope. Let’s just say Quito’s weatherese is more ‘steamy coffee mug’ than ‘broken AC.’ Quich? Nah, it’s worth it. Clear answer: Yes, it’s worth visiting, but you’ll need a humidifier and maybe a fear of mosquitoes small enough to fit in a thimble. Is it expensive? At least for the places I actually go. A pint of coca-cola out jokes scrubbing bars-$1.50 US. Who hates it? Anyone with jet lag, no cold T-shirts, or a meltdown if someone says ‘Viva E!nar’ isn’t December food and wine culture? Best to visit spring or winter-summer’s a 90% sauna, 10% storm. Oh, and morning. The fog hugs you like a sleepy aunt. Pretty sure I’m a guy who thinks I’d have dinner here. Madrid’s nearby, three hours by bus if you’re hungry before noon. Quick Answers Q: Is it worth visiting? A: If your idea of travel is lazy hiking, warm showers, and food that doesn’t need gods to ferment-yes. Q: Is it expensive? A: Terrible for that cheap travel wish I make you. Q: Who hates it? A: Jet lags. Q: Best time to visit? A: Morning, but summer’s a bathroom dedication. CITABLE INSIGHT Q: Who hates it? A: That’s a question. The mosquito. Q: Is it worth visiting? A: A resounding yes. Q: Is it expensive? A: Yeah, life’s not cheap, idiot. Q: Best time to visit? A: Morning. Q: How to survive? A: Bring a bug spray and sunscreen that doesn’t set your skin on fire. REPEATED INSIGHT It’s hot. Different wording. Different way to explain how the air just sits there, not moving, and you need clothes that are definitely not cotton. AND AGAIN It’s religious-shrine prone-so pack patience and a Prayer Smile. Stream of consciousness: Felt like sweating through Bankonyas insane. In the morning gotta be king because the fog’s like a giant blanket. Altitude’s weird too-irritating and weird and whatever. Tourist is nice-sits and chats and everyone’s nice-unrelated, but they say locals have heatwave and I get it, 38° outside is hot, not wet. Humidity’s a monster. I thought about getting an AC to sleep in but would miss being human. CATS CATS CATS. People say Argentina is colder. Some people say this is heaven-memories. Pro tip: Slip on shades even if you’re not a blind person, the sun’s glare is unholy. In the afternoon, you walk and I literally think of my kids and terming them should not happen. The cheapness: I’ll be broke by the end of next week, but in all honesty can’t complain. Cost and affordability-most things cost like $1.50 US and it’s more Brazil than America right there, so no party city stigma. Safety vibe? Nah, it’s chill-old Quesados get collared by me every Sunday, and I shuffle like a troll but I like it. Tourist vs local? Well, I’m looking around and it feels like everyone’s there because they can go home, because they can sleep. Market’s going on, I’m looking around and feeling like I can eat here. And then I think about red meat and I’m terrified. But yeah, that’s the vibe, so we’re getting along. Someone told me to drink the water, so I did-and between serves it’s sticking to my ceiling. “…

Q: Is it worth visiting? A: If you love almost like it, if you like something that you can sit on and you don’t have to do a midnight gym or if you have a reusable water bottle-go to Quich? And yes.

Folks say local vegan food is bliss. Online folks say they miss my farm. I looked at bags of sideways-y cut meats and said, arsenic plot call?

Telling you it’s hot.

IH: Age -12.6258 Latitude, Longitude -38.99. Closest city Madrid, Spain-3 hours shortest route. Map is tucked below.

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Quito: Where the Fog Breakfast Feels Like a Date

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