portland’s weird weather and why you should slap your boots here
just got back from walking 12 blocks in 38°f breezes and fog so thick it’s like walking through a kelly clarkson album. portland is either heaven or a damp daycare depending on your tolerance for existential rain and latte art that costs $8. the sky here is perpetually 52 degrees and foggy but locals swear by their “trip” shoes and hipster beanies. ive been here three times in a month and still cant tell if the clouds are singing or trapped spirits.
quick answers
q: is this place worth visiting?
small crowds? yeah. weirdness? yeah. cheap eats? sometimes. dont expect sunshine.
q: is it expensive?
rent? yeah. street fairs? nah. if you’re into tiny art galleries curated by dudes who hate light bulbs, your wallet’ll survive.
q: who would hate it here?
fun-haters, sunlight-dependent humans, and people who like real winters. also non-coffee snobs.
q: best time to visit?
avoid march-june unless you like clouds. otherwise october? everyone’s wearing beanies and selling pumkin-flavored pretzels. who knew?
someone told me portland’s homeless crisis is a vibe? yeah. i walked past a guy juggling potatoes outside a squat backyard garden. the arts district is basically a graffiti-covered thrift store. but hey, the vanguard theater’s gonna make you feel like you’re in the finale of a 1980s punk rock film.
if you’re a budget student, stick to the north side’s ramen joints. the only semi-safe neighborhood is the mens district near the intersection with 4th avenue. trust me, i got kicked out of "home bowl" for not wearing socks. the toilets closed at 11pm.
wya? cost of living here is like a bad breakup-it’s quiet at first then sudden and crushing. rent for a shoebox is $2,300. gas prices? higher than seattle. but youll find a thrifted flannel that’s basically perfect.
safety vibe? downtown’s sketchy when it rains. stay near the pearl district if you wanna feel less like a tourist in a masquerade.
local tip: if you see someone yelling conspiracy theories near the food carts, they’re probably employed by the city. keep it moving.
maps and stuff
portland weather time-lapse
📍portland coffee shops on yelp
reddit’s 2023 portland travel thread