woke up at 3 am realizing i forgot to sleep. then i went somewhere. not a hostel. not a park. just a window in a building that looked broken. i sat there eating a burrito someone gave me on the street. it was cheap. probably expired. but it was warm. then i texted a friend about it and they said its fire. now i’m writing this from a stoop because my phone battery died. 40.1674,-74.0974 is the address. its new york. or is it?

i saw a homeless man yelling into a payphone. he kept pressing buttons and throwing coins. i didn’t ask why. but i heard later he was bet on how long he could make the machine ring. sounds wild. i think i’ll visit again. if i’m ever back. which i probably won’t be.

Quick Answers

Q: Is this place worth visiting?
A: yeah. if you like randomness. need beaten down areas and people who look like they’ve seen too many payphones. if you want a vacay with a side of chaos, this is your spot.

Q: Is it expensive?
A: depends. food? sometimes. rent? definitely. but you can find dollar slices and dumpster-fine wine. key is to not buy anything from brands. i once got a latte from a 7-eleven cup and it was better than most cafes.

Q: Who would hate it here?
A: tourists who think this is a museum. or people who don’t like stairs. this place is stairs. and existentialism. mostly stairs.

Q: Best time to visit?
A: anytime if you bring a sweater. weather-wise, summer’s too hot and humid. winter? also bad but cooler. nov-dec? perfect for pretending you’re in a movie.

Weather feels like"a mug of lukewarm soup sitting in a sauna". stuck between 19c and the kind of humidity that makes your skin stick to your shirt. br Futebol. that’s brazil’s word for sweating a lot.

i heard a local say something weird last week. "don’t trust the map. it lies. it says the subway runs 24/7 but it only runs when it wants to." i took that as advice. went downtown yesterday at 9pm. missed my train. stood at the station for 20 minutes. then took a cab. wasted money. but i learned something. the subway has its own schedule. real one.

cheapest food hack (23/10/2023)

someone told me a place near northeastern blvd has a $1.50 burger. not false. but i didn’t go. too scared. what if it’s cardboard? what if it’s actually $1.50 but tastes like regret? so i kept eating 7-eleven burgers. they’re reliable. sometimes hot. sometimes sad. but always there.

who hates it

good question. probably brooks. or anyone wearing flip-flops. this place is concrete and attitude. if you’re here with high heels and a latte, you’re doing it wrong. stick to cabs. or just dont come.

subway rules

subways here are like dating apps. text and swipe. but instead of left or right, it’s red or green. also, the trains eat time. if you miss it, you miss it. no refunds. no explanations. just a man in brooks on a speaker saying "next train in 10 minutes." then it never comes.

best experience (random one)

got lost once. chased a bus for 15 blocks. it didn’t stop. i ran. I fall on a white stool. that was my high. high as a kid on roller skates in a park. but worse. because i was sticky from the burger grease.

mdash; object insert

"today i saw a cat fight a pigeon. the cat lost. now the pigeon is king of the stoop." - a local who was definitely high. i heard this from someone. maybe a lie. but i believe it.

maps slaves vs free agents

i used google maps yesterday. it said 15 minute walk to the heart of town. i walked 45. saw a fire hydrant named jane. no, really. it had a name tag. jane. probably part of a series. i asked a guy about it. he said,"that’s jane. she’s on strike this week."

final thoughts

this place is not for the faint of heart. or the tidy of soul. but if you’re chasing chaos, or cheap eats, or a city that doesn’t play nice, then yeah. this is where you belong. just bring raincoat. and patience. and maybe a snack. because no one here shares.

links

[tripadvisor nyc underground](https://www.tripadvisor.com/Neighborhood_REview.g spectrometry
[reddit nyc budget tips](https://www.reddit.com/r/nycbudget/
[yellow pages old roomsters](https://www.yellowpages.com/old-rockers
[john stewart on public transport](https://youtube.com/watch?v=example

nyc on 50c fuel and a half-eaten burrito