New Delhi Messed Up: How I Survived the Summer Heat (Mostly)
i was supposed to write this blog post before the sun hit 34.07 degrees celsius but here we are. literally. the air is thicker than my ex’s excuses which is saying something. i just checked and it’s… there right now, you know? hope you like that kind of thing. sweating through my vintage band t-shirt made me think about how much i regret buying it at a thrift store in london. maybe next time i’ll just wear sweatpants all summer.
despite the chaos, new delhi has a weird charm. you’ll hear street performers yelling in hindi about ‘parle cheese’ while dodging toddlers selling meth in backpacks. i overheard a local gossiping about the metro at a café. they said the trains here run on a schedule that only the poor can understand. which is wild because the poor here are probably managing better than this city’s ac system. true story.
if you get bored, the heritage city of old delhi is a quick auto-rickshaw ride away. or just wander the chaos of markets where everything smells like regret and curry. i heard that once a guy tried to sell me a fake lottery ticket. i didn’t speak hindi. maybe he just wanted to practice.
so here’s my survival guide. touch grass? no. touch a cold glass of thums up? yes. bought one from a vendor who claimed it was imported from ‘california.’ smells like a gas station. but hey, it’s cold. which is basically a miracle here.
i asked a yoga instructor here about the heat. she just rolled her eyes and said ‘diabetes’ as if that’s some ancient wisdom. i asked if the weather ruins beginners. she didn’t understand my question. maybe yoga isn’t the answer to everything.
there’s also this insane thing where neighbors will honk at your car for no reason. like, just a regular honk. you walk into a place at 11 am and the group chat in your sponsor’s group is already a fire. it’s like living in a thriller. except the villain is a man selling chapati in his jeep at 3 am.
sometimes you need a map. literally. here’s one of new delhi’s chaos:
. if you get lost, just follow the smell of street food. it’s more reliable than gps.
let’s talk photos. i took a selfie in front of india gate at sunset. the light was good. my face looked worse. uploaded it to unsplash. just in case the universe needs a reminder that humans exist.
if you’re into reviews, someone told me the food here is three meals in one. breakfast is just spicy milk. lunch is street food that might or might not be alive. dinner is regret. i heard this from a drunk guy at a kebab place. he was also yelling about bollywood movies. maybe take his advice? or don’t. new delhi lets you make your own deal.
ps. if you want to avoid the chaos, check out the ‘real’ delhi on tripadvisor. or not. just read some yelp reviews about the metro. you’ll find a 1-star complaint about a man in a saree shoving a mango into your bag. probably a dream. or not. who knows?
You might also be interested in:
- https://votoris.com/post/adanas-biggest-employers-and-why-i-keep-getting-lost-in-their-office-parks
- https://votoris.com/post/tokyo-drift-damp-socks-a-week-in-the-electric-city
- https://votoris.com/post/hot-as-hell-and-center-of-everything-nagpur-vibes
- https://votoris.com/post/dust-damp-and-decaf-notes-from-somewhere-probably-england
- https://votoris.com/post/the-best-public-and-private-schools-in-nampula-a-messy-realworld-look