My Wifi Died and I Accidentally Found the Most Chaotic Beautiful Place in Kerala

okay so here's the thing about being a digital nomad in india - you think you've done your research, you think you know what you're getting into, and then your airbnb's wifi dies on day two and you're standing on a random street in kollam at 2pm sweating so much your phone screen is wet and you're like... well now what.

that's how i ended up in a place i literally hadn't even heard of before booking. someone told me (on a very questionable travel forum) that kollam was "the real kollam" - whatever that means - and honestly i was just looking for somewhere cheap with decent coffee. what i got was 28.97 degrees celsius feeling like 35.32 because the humidity is 83% and i genuinely thought i was going to melt into the sidewalk.

Quick Answers

Q: Is this place worth visiting?
A: if you want actual india instead of the sanitized version tourists get in goa, yes. it's messy, it's hot, it's overwhelming. i loved it.

Q: Is it expensive?
A: dirt cheap. i spent maybe 40 bucks a day including accommodation and eating like five meals. a full thali is like 80 rupees. i literally cannot believe this.

Q: Who would hate it here?
A: people who need AC constantly, people who want everything in english, people who think "adventure" means a nice resort pool. this is not that. if you need structure, stay in trivandrum.

Q: Best time to visit?
A: honestly? i went in what i think was november and it was still brutal heat. december through february is probably your best bet for slightly less sweating.

Q: Is it safe?
A: i felt fine. i'm a solo female traveler and nobody bothered me more than the usual friendly harassment. just don't be stupid about where you walk at night and you'll be fine.

The Actual Messy Part

so the wifi thing. my airbnb host - shoutout to him honestly - he showed up with this ancient router and was like "madam, network issue" and i was like cool cool cool i have work to do and he just laughed and said "you come to kollam, you relax." and i wanted to scream because i had a deadline but then i thought... when was the last time i actually relaxed?

i ended up working from this tiny cafe near the beach where the coffee was strong enough to wake the dead and the owner let me plug in my laptop even though i think i was the first person to ever do that there. the power went out twice. i didn't even care. the breeze was coming off the water and the humidity was doing something to my hair that i can only describe as "chaos curls" and i was eating something that i later learned was called "kadala curry" and it was 80 rupees and i almost cried.

*the food situation here is no joke. i don't know why nobody talks about kerala food more. it's not the same as the north, it's not the same as what you get in mumbai. it's its own thing. the coconut is in everything. the fish is so fresh it was probably swimming an hour ago. i gained weight and i have zero regrets.

this one old man at the ferry terminal told me "you eat too much spice, you will cry" and i said "i'm american, i eat spice for fun" and he laughed so hard he almost dropped his fish. we became friends. he brings me tapioca now. i don't know what tapioca is but it's good.

i took the ferry to munroe island because someone on a reddit thread said it was "peaceful" and i needed peaceful. the ferry was 20 rupees. twenty. that's less than a dollar. i sat on the top deck and watched the water and the palm trees and the houses on stilts and i thought - this is why people travel, right? not for the instagram photos, not for the checklist. for the moment where you're on a 20 rupee boat and you realize you're exactly where you're supposed to be.

The Digital Nomad Reality Check

okay but let's be real for a second because i know you're reading this thinking "but did you actually get work done" and the answer is... kind of? the wifi situation is not great. i bought a local sim and it helped but the speeds are inconsistent. i worked from this coworking space i found on tripadvisor (which was honestly a converted shipping container but it had AC so i forgave everything) and i got my stuff done. the key is having realistic expectations. you're not going to have fiber optic speeds. you're going to have moments where you're staring at a loading circle and a guy is selling you chai next to your laptop. embrace it or go home.

the cost of living here is what dreams are made of. i was paying 25 dollars a night for a room with AC and a bathroom and the host made me breakfast every morning. breakfast! included! i was spending maybe 15 dollars on food a day and eating like a queen. the street food is insane - there's this thing called "banana fry" that i became obsessed with and i still think about it and i left three weeks ago.

Things Nobody Tells You

one thing that surprised me - there's a huge expat community here. i met people from everywhere. a french photographer who had been here for six months, a german guy teaching english, a whole group of digital nomads who rotate through. there's a facebook group (just search "kollam nomads" or something similar) where people share tips and warn each other about power cuts. very useful.

the weather. okay the weather. i need to talk about the weather because i was NOT prepared. i knew it would be hot but i didn't know it would feel like walking through soup constantly. my clothes were damp within thirty seconds of going outside. i bought five cheap kurtas from a street vendor because they were the only thing that didn't make me want to rip my skin off. the humidity is a lifestyle adjustment, not a minor inconvenience.

i heard from a local that the monsoon season is something else entirely - the rain comes down so hard you can't see the street. she said sometimes the whole area floods. so maybe don't come in june through september unless you want to experience that.

The Tourist vs Local Thing

here's the thing about kollam - you're not going to see many other tourists. i saw maybe five other foreigners in three weeks. this is not a tourist destination. this is a place where people live their lives and you're just... there. watching. which is either going to be amazing or really uncomfortable for you, depending on your personality.

i loved it. i loved being the weird foreigner. i loved the kids running up to me to practice english. i loved the shop owners who would just start talking to me about their families. i loved the complete lack of tourist infrastructure - there's no fancy restaurants, no english menus most places, no one trying to sell you stuff constantly. you have to figure it out. you have to point at food and hope. you have to use your hands to communicate. it's exhausting and wonderful.

a woman at the market taught me how to bargain by just... bargaining with me? i think? i still don't know if i got scammed but i got a scarf for what felt like a good price so whatever.

The Messy Conclusion

i left kollam three weeks ago and i'm already planning to go back. there's something about the place that gets under your skin. maybe it's the light. maybe it's the food. maybe it's the fact that i had a complete breakdown on a beach at sunset and a random dog came and sat next to me and i felt better. probably that.

if you're thinking about coming here, just come. don't overplan. don't read too many reviews. just show up and figure it out. that's the whole point.

practical stuff:*
- fly into trivandrum (thiruvananthapuram) - it's about two hours away by train or bus
- get a local sim at the airport - airtel or jio both work fine
- stay in the fort area near the beach - that's where most of the action is
- learn the word "shukriya" - it means thank you and people light up when you say it
- don't drink the tap water. just don't.

i'm writing this from a cafe in bangalore now and the wifi is great and the coffee is expensive and i miss kollam so much i could cry. that's the thing about places that are hard to love - when you love them, you love them forever.

now if you'll excuse me, i'm going to go look at flights.

here's some links i found useful:
- tripadvisor has some good threads about the ferry schedules: https://www.tripadvisor.com
- yelp (yes, yelp works in india sometimes): https://www.yelp.com
- the kollam subreddit is small but active: https://www.reddit.com/r/kollam
- lonely planet's kerala guide: https://www.lonelyplanet.com
- wikivoyage actually had decent info: https://en.wikivoyage.org
- this coworking space i used: https://www.workfrom.co