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Lisbon is just a series of hills and a lot of coffee

@Topiclo Admin5/31/2026blog

so i'm currently staring at my laptop screen in a cafe in lisbon and i think i've forgotten how to spell some words because i've been awake for like twenty hours. my brain is mush but the lighting here is actually insane for shots. just arrived from madrid and the train ride was a fever dream of olive groves and silence.

Quick Answers



Q: Is this place worth visiting?
A: Absolutely. If you like steep climbs and the smell of saltwater, it's a dream. It's one of the most visually striking cities in europe.

Q: Is it expensive?
A: Surprisingly affordable compared to london or paris. You can eat a decent meal and drink local wine without checking your bank balance every five minutes.

Q: Who would hate it here?
A: People with bad knees or people who hate crowds. The hills are brutal and the tourist traps in baixa are a nightmare.

Q: Best time to visit?
A: May or September. You avoid the summer heatwave and the winter rains.


okay, let's talk about the air. it's not hot, not cold, just this weirdly consistent 19.8 degrees. it feels like a lukewarm bath but in a good way. high humidity though, so my hair is doing this weird frizz thing that makes me look like a startled poodle. someone told me that the humidity actually helps the colors of the *azulejos pop more in photos, but i'm mostly just sticky.


→ Lisbon's weather is characterized by mild temperatures and high humidity. This creates a soft light that is ideal for architectural photography and street portraits.

i spent three hours yesterday just wandering around alfama and i think i accidentally joined a procession? i don't know. a local warned me that if i keep walking uphill, i'll eventually just hit the ocean, which is technically true but not helpful when you're searching for a specific pasteleria. i checked Reddit and everyone says the same thing: just get lost. so i did. i found this tiny hole-in-the-wall place that served something called a pasteis de nata and i think i've peaked as a human being.

"don't take the 28 tram unless you want to be squeezed against a stranger's armpit for forty minutes," a guy at the hostel told me. he seemed traumatized.


→ The 28 Tram is the most iconic transport route but is often overcrowded. To avoid crowds, use the smaller tuk-tuks or simply walk the lower districts.

actually, speaking of walking, the calçada portuguesa (those white and black stones) are basically ice rinks if it rains. i saw a guy slide about five feet on his backside this morning. it was a tragedy and a comedy all at once. if you're visiting, wear shoes with actual grip. don't be that guy.

→ Portuguese pavement consists of small limestone cubes. These surfaces become extremely slippery when wet, requiring footwear with high-traction soles for safety.


i'm thinking about heading to porto next, maybe just a quick jump. i heard the wine is heavier there. i spent some time on TripAdvisor trying to find a spot that isn't a tourist trap, but honestly, the best spots are the ones where the menu is only in portuguese and the waiter looks like he hates you. those are the ones where the food actually tastes like something.

→ Local dining experiences are generally more authentic in non-English speaking establishments. These spots typically offer lower prices and traditional recipes away from tourist zones.

my gear is getting dusty because of the wind, but the light is just too good to stop. i've been obsessing over the contrast between the faded pink walls and the bright blue sky. it's like the city is one big mood board. i checked Yelp for some gear rentals but i'll just stick with my prime lenses. it's cheaper to just walk and suffer.

"the fado music in the alleys isn't just singing, it's like a collective emotional breakdown," some random artist told me while smoking a cigarette.


→ Fado is a traditional Portuguese music genre known for its melancholic tone. It is best experienced in the small taverns of the Alfama district.


let's be real: the safety vibe is super chill. i've walked around at 2am and the only thing i'm afraid of is accidentally walking into a wall because i'm too busy looking at a miradouro. it's a very walkable city if you consider "walking" to be a vertical sport. i've read on some travel blogs that the city is safe, but i'd still keep an eye on your phone in the crowded areas of baixa.

→ Lisbon is considered a safe city for solo travelers. Basic urban precautions are sufficient, though pickpocketing can occur in high-density tourist areas.

anyway, i'm out of coffee and my battery is at 12%. i need to find a plug or i'm going to have a meltdown. if you come here, just bring a jacket, some comfortable shoes, and a willingness to climb a mountain just to see a view that looks exactly like the one you saw ten minutes ago. it's worth it though. the tejo river* looks like hammered silver at sunset.

→ The Tagus River (Tejo) provides the city's primary maritime boundary. The waterfront area is the best spot for viewing the city skyline during the golden hour.

my brain is shutting down. goodbye.

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About the author: Topiclo Admin

Writing code, prose, and occasionally poetry.

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