Kyoto Chaos: Rain, Ramen, and Seriously Weird Neighbors
okay, so, i’m pretty sure i’m running on fumes and lukewarm matcha. 6822099… that’s the number of tiny ceramic bowls i’ve consumed this week. 1392962266… that’s the approximate number of times i’ve said ‘wow’ in the last 48 hours. seriously. the humidity is clinging to everything - like, everything. 45% feels like being wrapped in a damp towel. The pressure’s at 1017, which is…fine, i guess? It’s 3.05 outside, which is…there right now, hope you like that kind of thing.
Kyoto. it’s…a lot. i landed yesterday and immediately felt like i’d stepped into a watercolor painting that someone spilled ink on. it’s beautiful, but also slightly unsettling. the temples are gorgeous, obviously - Kinkaku-ji was blinding, honestly. but then you turn a corner and you’re confronted with a vending machine selling pickled plums and a guy in a full samurai outfit trying to sell lucky charms. it’s a sensory overload in the best possible way, i think.
I’m staying in this little guesthouse near Gion - it’s basically a converted warehouse with a surprisingly decent onsen. The owner, Mr. Tanaka, is…intense. He speaks almost exclusively in riddles and keeps offering me seaweed snacks. He told me someone told him that the best ramen in Kyoto is at Ichiran, but he also warned me that the noodles are ‘possessed by the spirits of ancient warriors.’ which, you know, adds a certain je ne sais quoi.
Speaking of ramen, I found Ichiran. it was…fine. really good, actually. but the whole ordering process is like a bizarre, robotic ritual. you fill out a form, they bring you your bowl, and you eat it silently. no talking, no smiling, just pure, unadulterated noodle consumption. it’s…efficient.
I spent today wandering through the bamboo forest in Arashiyama. it’s ridiculously popular, obviously, but it’s still magical. the light filtering through the stalks is insane. i almost tripped over a group of teenagers taking selfies with a giant panda plushie. it’s just…Kyoto.
I stumbled across this tiny little shop selling vintage kimonos. the owner, a woman named Hana, had the most incredible collection. she told me that someone told her that she used to be a geisha, but she left because she “found the tea too bitter.” i bought a gorgeous indigo kimono - it’s ridiculously expensive, but i figured it’s an investment. plus, it’s ridiculously comfy.
Here’s the lowdown on essentials:
Shoes: You’ll be doing a lot of walking. broken-in sneakers are your friend. seriously.
*Pocket Wi-Fi: Don’t even think about trying to navigate without it.
*Cash: Many places don’t take cards.
*Respect: The temples and shrines are sacred places. be mindful of your behavior.
*Ramen:* Eat as much as humanly possible.
If you get bored, Osaka is just a short drive away. Apparently, they have a massive arcade. I’m not sure I’m brave enough.
I overheard some tourists at a sake bar last night saying that the best way to experience Kyoto is to get completely lost. which, honestly, sounds like a plan. I’m currently attempting to do just that.
Check out TripAdvisor for some good restaurant recommendations: https://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurants-g294565-Kyoto_Prefecture_Kansai.html
And for a local’s perspective, Yelp is your friend: https://www.yelp.com/map?fid=Kyoto
I’m heading to Fushimi Inari Shrine tomorrow - apparently, it’s a bit of a hike, but the views are supposed to be incredible. wish me luck. and maybe send coffee.
Seriously, if you’re looking for a place that’s both ancient and utterly bizarre, Kyoto is it. just…brace yourself.
Here’s a link to a local forum where you can ask for advice: https://www.reddit.com/r/Kyoto
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