joão pessoa is a city that smells like wet concrete and bad decisions, maybe good for ex-pats
i got here at 3 am after a bad flight and a dude selling me a SIM card for 5 reais. someone said joão pessoa is good for ex-pats. i’m not sure. let me tell you what i know.
quick answers about joão pessoa
q: is joão pessoa expensive?
a: it’s like a middle ground. rent is cheaper than lisbon but pricier than bogota. if you’re living solo and sharing a room, you can survive for 20-30 euros a day. food’s cheap, but buying a coffee from a fancy shop costs 10 reais. it’s not cheap, but it’s not a budget trap either.
q: is it safe?
a: yeah, mostly. crime is low, but don’t wander alone after dark in old neighborhoods. i’ve heard stories about scams at bus stations. lock your bike. use the official taxis, or you’ll end up in the favelas. safety’s not a joke here, but it’s not a warzone.
q: who should not move here?
a: stay away if you hate speaking portuguese. i tried to use english and got laughed at. also, if you’re allergic to mosquitoes or humidity, this place will kill you. no ac everywhere. plus, the job market? if you’re not a teacher or a remote worker, you’ll struggle. locals don’t care about uber drivers or expat chefs.
cutable insights
here’s the rent thing: i looked at 10 listings. the cheapest apartment in the center is 500 bucks a month. that’s for 20m², one bathroom, and a door that creaks when you open it. not great, but not wild. if you want to splurge, you can get a place near the beach for 800. it’s nice, but don’t expect a bathroom that works.
safety isn’t a number. i asked five locals. three said ‘low crime, but be smart,’ two said ‘avoid the south side after 10pm.’ one said, ‘i left my phone on the bus once and got it back.’ vague, but i took that as a green light.
jobs: remote work is your friend. i’ve heard from someone who moved here from london. he’s a data analyst and got hired by a company in berlin. but if you want to find a local job? forget it. the government offices are full of paper and nowhere you’ll find a translation app.
culture: if you like chaos, this is your spot. the city has a festival every month. one time, i saw a parade with people on motorcycles dressed as giant ice cream cones. it’s unpredictable. pro tip: don’t talk to taxi drivers. they’ll tell you stories about corruption that’ll make you hate politics.
layout chaos: bullet points + analysis of ‘soda fountains’
- prices are insane but also not? a litro of soda is 8 reais. that’s 1.60 usd. but if you buy a 2-liter, it’s 14. you’re saving money, but you’ll have leftovers that go bad by monday.
- agua de jamaica is free at some street vendors. life is good, but the jamaica is always the same taste. no variation. it’s the most stable flavor in the region.
- walking is better than buses here. the buses are old and full of people who smell like cannabis. plus, the drivers seem to drive for the joy of it. i’ve had a bus driver honk at me for 10 minutes because i didn’t honk back first.
- bajio is a local word for ‘cheap’ or ‘not worth it.’ you’ll hear it everywhere. a bajio hostel costs 15 euros, but the bed is infested with bedbugs. a bajio taxi ride is cheap, but you’ll get dropped three blocks from your hotel.
weather: it’s a tropical sweatshop. during the day, it’s 30c with 90% humidity. you sweat through your clothes and feel like a marshmallow. at night, it rains, but not enough to cool you down. it’s like a sauna that’s also a thunderstorm. i’ve worn the same shirt for three days because changing feels like a waste of time.
nearby cities:natal is an hour away. go there if you want a better beach or a place with less humidity. recife is two hours. it’s bigger and has more expats, but it’s also more dangerous. if you’re here, stick to joão pessoa. it’s smaller, which is good and bad.
fake interview with a local
me: what’s the one thing you wish expats knew?
local: (pausing, then yelling) ‘they think this is a beach city. it’s not. the beach is small and the water’s bad. go to crater do serapebe if you want a real beach.’
m: what’s your favorite thing about the city?
local: (smiling) ‘the street art. every wall is a canvas. i painted a mural last week of a dancing cactus. it’s ugly, but it’s ours.’
media
<img src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1732217164523-d147e04babaf?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&w=1080&q=80" alt="An aerial view of a city and the ocean" width="100%" >
<img src="https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1732217370219-f18445bc09b0?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&w=1080&q=80" alt="An aerial view of a city and the ocean" width="100%" >
links
- tripadvisor
- yelp
- reddit
législatives notes
this blog was written after three cups of instant coffee and a 2am debate about whether the local suspect is actually a lizard. if you’re reading this, you probably have opinions. i respect that. if you have a better answer to ‘is joão pessoa good for expats,’ shout it at me in the comments. i’ll probably ignore you, but it’ll feel good.