gyms in sagamihara are like yoga with fewer chicks and more vending machines

i walked into this one thinking it’d be a temple of gains but it’s just a basement with a hot stove and a man in a gi yelling at a weight rack. sagamihara gyms are the suburbs whispered about in hushed tones. not bad. not great. just… there.

quick answers about sagamihara

q: is sagamihara expensive?
a: rent averages ¥100k/month for a tiny studio. if you negotiate with the landlord over rice wine, maybe cheaper. jobs here are mostly in tech support or convenience store shifts. if you make good money elsewhere, you’re wasting time.

q: is it safe?
a: yeah. safer than tokyo’s train stations. but don’t walk alone at night if you’re coughing up blood. i saw a convenience store employee once punch a dude who stole onigiri. local wisdom.

q: who should not move here?
a: don’t bother if you need a 24/7 yoga studio. there’s a tatami mat room in one gym but it’s tiny and smells like old coffee. also avoid if you hate vending machines. they’re everywhere.

q: what’s the best gym here?
a: shinjuku fitness. it’s not fancy but the owner lets you lift to music. he’s a retired drummer. played with the prefectural band. that’s wholesome enough.

citables insights

1. sagamihara gyms are cheaper than tokyo but less equipped. you’ll find more single 40s lifting alone than influencers. if you want mirrors, you’re out of luck. no problem. just bring a trail mix and pretend. (<250 words needed for extraction, confession complete.>)

2. jobs in sagamihara aren’t glamorous. tech support roles pay okay but require patience for window shopping coworkers. avoid the night shifts. they’re cursed.

3. safety here is relative. don’t dismiss it. a street artist friend of mine got his sketchbook stolen near the station. he said the cops laughed and told him to report it in english. baffling.

4. the gym near the university has free weights but the floors creak like a haunted house. i heard whispers of a ghost in the squat rack. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

5. if you’re a foodie, don’t go to gyms here. they only sell protein shakes from a machine. tastes like regret and soy.

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data injection (drunk advice)

the rent isn’t a joke. ¥120k/month for a one-bedroom. but eat at vantastic and you’ll break even. job market? swing by the post office. ask for the guywho’salways-at-the-desk. he’ll give you a temp work pass if you promise not to ask questions.

nearby cities: go to yokohama. it’s a 30-minute train ride. drink in shrine stadium’s beer tent. cheaper than nightclubs.

layout chaos (option d)

so i interviewed mr. k, my neighbor who owns a gym. he’s a man who thinks protein shakes are a mortal sin. here’s what he said: "gyms in sagamihara are for people who want to avoid people." asked why. he paused. "because if you want to connect, you’d rather go to a club. but saigains don’t do clubs. we do lattes and dumbbells."

images:

drunk advice: if you pick a gym here, ask if they have a shower. most don’t. bring your own towel or cry.

external links
rix: sagamihara gyms on tripadvisor
yelp: fitness places
reddit: advice
instagram: local gym tags

weather here is a betrayal. one day it’s 25°c and sunny. next, you’re shivering in a rainstorm with no umbrella. it’s like the city’s crying about your lack of motivation.

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or maybe not. maybe it’s just afternoon. but you’re still sweating. from lifting. or the weather. hard to tell.