greenville just got stuck in a 19.11 degree sauna and i had to taste the chaos
so today i woke up and realized i had no plan. which is fine. i mean who needs a plan when the weather is 19.11 and sticky enough to make your skin wanna peel? i just checked and it's sticky as hell right now, hope you like that kind of thing. the humidity here is like 94% and it’s not even summer yet. i swear the air smells like a gym sock convention.
last night i heard a neighbor yelling about something involving a toaster and a raccoon. i didn’t ask details. but if you ask me, greenville’s vibe is like a bunch of people trying to out-single each other while being relentlessly watched by mosquitoes. if you get bored, the nearby cities are like… one exit away, which is weird but okay.
i tried to find a coffee shop but ended up at this dive that some drunk on yelp wrote about. the reviews say it’s 'where the espresso tastes like regret,' and i’m like… sure. i ordered a black eye and asked for extra existential dread. the barista gave me a look like i’d just proposed marrying a toaster. some locals whispered that the place is linked to a conspiracy about bad coffee and bad vibes. i didn’t believe them, but now i’m sending this to tripadvisor to warn others.
i took some photos to document the chaos. one shows a red brick building with a clock tower that looked like it was built by a sleep-deprived architect. another is a car driving down a street next to a tall building, which felt like a metaphor for how greenville exists. the third is just me staring at a wall, wondering if the temperature actually matters anymore.
i asked a vendor about the weather and they said, ‘you’re here during the worst of it, buddy.’ i told them i’d heard that from someone who’d been in a car accident. they didn’t laugh. the neighbors across the street have a garden that’s so overgrown it’s like a sci-fi movie. i’m not sure if it’s intentional or if they gave up. either way, it’s perfect greenville time.
someone told me that the street artist here paints murals of lost things. i tried to find it but ended up following a pigeon instead. maybe that’s the point. maybe greenville is about letting go of plans and letting the humidity make decisions for you.
i’m not sure if i’ll leave tomorrow. the coffee is lukewarm, the air is thick, and the drone buzzing outside my window sounds like it’s judging me. but if i do, i’ll probably just take the next bus and hope the next city doesn’t smell like a gym sock convention either. links for you: check out tripadvisor for greenville’s weirdest trails, yelp for that coffee shop that might haunt you, and the local board for rumors about the toaster-racoon incident.
greetings from a place where 19.11 degrees and 94% humidity are not just weather. they’re a lifestyle. or a curse. hard to tell. but hey, at least the toaster-racoon story is a thing now.
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