ok so i rolled into hollowbrook last night after a 6-hour drive and immediately realized this place exists solely to confuse me my van had a flat tire and holy hell did i not pack a spare jack it’s like the universe is testing me 25c out here and my boots are soaked but at least the café is open let’s see what hollowbrook has to offer besides my frustration

quick answers

q: is this place worth visiting

ans: nah not unless you like chaos i’ve been here 36 hours and the only thing i’ve learned is how to haggle for a bagel at 2am and that the streetlights flicker at 3:07pm every day. if you want quiet this isn’t your jam.

q: is it expensive

ans: depends what you need a hostel dorm is $15 but the coffee here is $8 and that’s not even the good stuff. if you’re buying food yeah it’s mid-range but the grocery store has weird local stuff so shell out extra.

q: who would hate it here

ans: families i think. or people who want to feel safe. i heard a local said the police station is 10 miles away and that’s a myth. also anyone who hates loud noises my band practice ended at 5am and the neighbors moved out.

q: best time to visit

ans: late july to early aug the weather’s stableish and the farmers market opens. otherwise come in the dead of winter when no one’s here and you can loot the abandoned bookstore.

i heard the weather here is like a giant mood ring it was 25c when i arrived but last week it rained for 7 days straight and this week it’s 27c with this weird sticky air. i swear the locals say it’s ‘seasonal chaos’ but no one explains what that means except to hand you a half-empty bottle of water.

someone told me the humidity makes your skin produce a natural glow but i just looked like i rolled into a swamp. the pressure’s 1023hpa which technically means nothing but i felt it in my sinuses so it’s worth noting.

i’ve never seen this many pigeons in my life and they’re not the cute type they’re slimey and ugly and they keep stealing my sandwich wrappers. also the beach is 5 miles away but you’re not going there right?

budget students would hate this place cos everything’s a bit pricey but also the local diner serves fried doughnuts for $2 and they’re amazing. i’m not a fan of consistency but don’t let me decide for you.

everyone keeps mentioning a place called the ‘old clock tower’ i didn’t bother checking it out but a redit thread said it’s haunted by a man who plays accordion at 2am. if that’s your vibe then great. otherwise stay clear.

there’s a gym here that’s free but requires you to do 10 push-ups per minute for an hour. i did it once and my arms screamed. the inspection said the weight racks are safe but i still don’t trust them.

i’ve learned that hollowbrook’s nightlife revolves around a single karaoke bar and a street artist who draws faces on dumpsters. the artist’s latest piece requires you to solve a riddle to see it. the riddle was ‘what’s always in front of you but you can’t see’ and the answer was ‘empty space’. ridiculous but i liked it.

i’ve never seen a locksmith here but i bet there are a million. this is a town built on secrets and broken things. i found a vending machine that only takes dogecoin and it’s dispensed expired beef jerky.

quick answers done now let’s talk about the maps below. don’t get lost in hollowbrook it’s not like the signs have directions just a series of… i mean a sign that says ‘go left unless you’re here’ which is always here.

got here 4405180 cos my van broke down 1840009787

You might also be interested in:

About the author: Topiclo Admin

Comments (0)

Join the conversation

Comments (0)

Join the conversation