dallas: where my consulting soul goes to die (and the humidity wins)
so i'm in dallas for a three-month 'digital transformation' gig that already feels like a prison sentence. the client's office is this sterile glass box downtown that looks like it was designed by someone who thinks 'open concept' means no soul. i flew in sunday and the second i stepped outside, the humidity hit me like a damp blanket someone left in a sauna. my weather app says it's 19.84°c but the real feel is 20.05 because humidity's at 83%. that's not even the peak of summer, people. i just checked and it's...well, it's here, hope you like that kind of thing. the pressure's 1010 hpa and the temperature's only going from 19 to 20.68°c today. it's like the weather's mocking me with its narrow range while my spreadsheet projections have more personality.
dallas itself is a sprawl of highways and strip malls that stretches forever. i've been told that if you get bored, fort worth and arlington are just a short drive away. i tried to go to fort worth last week but got stuck in traffic on i-30 for an hour and ended up at a whataburger at 2am. that's dallas for you: you think you're going somewhere but you're really just sitting in a car. someone told me the mexican food in oak cliff is the real deal, but i've been too busy with client dinners to find out. i heard the deep ellum area gets rowdy after midnight, like a networking event but with worse decisions.
now, let's talk about the map. here's exactly where i'm complaining from:
. that's my hotel, which is a 'lifestyle boutique' that means the shower pressure is weak and the minibar is overpriced. the coordinates 33.1088,-96.6735 put me in the middle of downtown, but it feels like nowhere. my project codes are 4670300 and 1840019396, which sound like area codes for a city that doesn't exist. maybe that's dallas.
i've taken a few walks around deep ellum. it's the 'artsy' district with murals and loud bars. i heard that on weekends it turns into a frat party with better music. i saw some street art that looked like it was commissioned by a silicon valley startup. the whole area has a vibe of trying too hard. but hey, at least there's a coffee shop that takes oat milk seriously. let's look at some photos i've borrowed from the internet to give you an idea. here's the skyline:
. doesn't it look like a spreadsheet coming to life? and here's a typical street in deep ellum:
. all that paint to cover up the fact that it's just another gentrified neighborhood. and finally, a random shot that captures the mood:
. because sometimes you need to look up and remember there's a universe beyond powerpoint.
i've been here two weeks and already my soul feels like it's been through a six sigma project. the locals are okay, but you can tell most of them are either from here and never left or moved here for a job and regret it. i met a guy at a bar who said he's been in dallas for ten years and still doesn't know what to do with the space between the highways. that's the honest truth. the reviews i read on a local board say the perot museum is overrated but the sixth floor museum is worth it for the history. i haven't been to either because i'm usually asleep by 8pm after a day of 'leverage frameworks.' but if you're into that, go for it.
if you're planning a trip, bring deodorant that actually works and an appetite for barbecue that doesn't try to be fancy. also, someone warned me about the traffic-it's not just bad, it's a personality. i've spent more time in ubers than in meetings. and the drivers? they're either chatty or silent, no in-between. for more on the food scene, check out this yelp list or dallas observer for events. and if you're into deep ellum nightlife, tripadvisor has some overpriced but accurate reviews. there's also a local forum where people argue about brisket.
i'll leave you with this: dallas is a city that sells you a dream of southern hospitality with a side of corporate ambition. it's not bad, it's just... fine. and the weather? it's here, hope you like that kind of thing. i'm gonna go now and pretend i'm working on a presentation about 'unlocking value in the dallas market' while actually just looking at flight prices home. my consultant's heart dreams of a place with seasons, but my wallet says 'stick around.'
You might also be interested in:
- https://votoris.com/post/fayzabad-my-drumkit-got-high-pressure-and-i-got-lost
- https://votoris.com/post/dakar-diaries-the-real-talk-no-one-tells-you
- https://votoris.com/post/yopougon-itscomplicated
- https://votoris.com/post/lvivs-underground-scene-where-real-connections-happen
- https://votoris.com/post/703845-a-city-that-wont-let-you-forget-it