chittagong: where the chaos is a full-time job

i woke up for the third time that hour wondering if anyone else was awake. the sun was already baked into the pavement at 6am and my laptop fan was doing laps around my lap trying to keep me from melting. someone told me that the local cafes here serve espresso like it’s a sacred ritual, but i couldn’t bring myself to care. i just wanted wifi that didn’t sound like a dying cat. i went to a place called the black hole on tripadvisor and it turned out to be a guy’s basement with a generator. classic.

the weather today? i just checked and it’s...there right now, hope you like that kind of thing. 26.96 degrees and humid enough to make your skin itch if you move too fast. i’m the kind of person who packs a raincoat for every trip, but here? it’s more like a mister. the air’s thick enough to taste, like if someone spilled a soda can in a car and left it there for a week.

neighbors? if you get bored, the next town over is just a short drive away. i heard that from a woman selling mangoes at a market, sweating like she’d outrun a marathon. she didn’t look like she wanted to talk about it. i asked anyway. she said, ‘they all do it. you just don’t notice until you’re stuck there at 2am.’ what even is 2am here? the night is all sounds. motorbikes, church bells, and that one guy who plays a flute outside his shop. i swear he’s not a real person.

i heard that the street food here is either amazing or a trap. one local warned me that the fish head soup is so good it’ll haunt your dreams. another said the samosas are filled with paperwork. i tried both. the soup made me question my life choices. the samosas were... salty. oops.

here’s a map if you need to find your way:

. i didn’t design it. i just copied it from somewhere. probably a yelp review.

i took a photo of a door with a clock on it. it looked like it belonged in a dream. i’m not sure if it’s real. here’s the pic:

. another pic of a statue that looked like it was judging me:

. and this one? a guy with a seashell headdress. hypnotic:

.

someone told me that the Wi-Fi here is faster than in nyc. i didn’t believe them until i tried streaming a cat video. the cat lookedjudgmental. i’m still not sure if i’m hacking or if the cat is.

i’m leaving tomorrow. probably. if the weather stays this hot. i might just sleep here instead. the nights are cooler. i heard that from a drunk person at a club. they were waving at me through a beer can. i’m not sure if i trusted them.

links: tripadvisor for local places, yelp for food, local forum for random advice. don’t trust the forum. they told me the best burrito spot was closed for 10 years. turns out it was a metaphor.

i’ll end this by saying: if you come here, bring a fan. and a sense of humor. the city doesn’t do subtlety. it does exist in your face.

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