best gyms nearby me in amsterdam? not what you’d expect from a city of bicycles and milk bars

i’ve been to more gyms here than i care to count. some are quiet like a monk’s meditation room. others smell like sweat and bad nachos. amsterdam’s gyms are a mirror of the city-chaotic but oddly functional. i’m not here to make lists. i’m here to vent. like, why is everything land-based? where are the rooftop yoga spots? why do they all play dubstep during down days?

quick answers about amsterdam

q: is amsterdam expensive?
a: depends. beer’s cheap. rent eats your soul. gym memberships? yeah, those are pricey. like, 50 euros a month for a place that smells like mildew. if you’re a broke photographer, skip the 24-hour gyms. they’re for fighters or people who hate silence.

q: is it safe?
a: in the city? yeah. in a gym? only if you don’t stare at mirrors too long. people here are either in a rush or rediscovering themselves via protein shakes. watch out for peepholes. some gyms have these for staff only. how historical.

q: who should not move here?
a: the gym-obsessed minimalist. amsterdam’s gyms are for people who hate stillness. if you want a zen space, go to the countryside. this city punishes tranquility.


amsterdam’s gyms are a warning. i spoke to a local who said, ‘don’t trust the weights. they work fine, just don’t expect miracles.’ but then she showed me this place by central station. it’s called ‘grindhouse fitness.’ no frills. no plush mats. just concrete, a spin cycle, and a wall of mirrors. i tried the deadlifts. we both looked like we’d died. but hey, that’s the vibe.


least favorite gym? the one near amsterdam arps. it’s got a sauna that’s 50 euros per hour. in jamie’s country, you’d pay that for a week. here, they’ll give you a discount if you’re a vegetarian. how is this fair?


there’s a photo place near specification fitness. you can snap yourself doing bicep curls next to a canal. it’s a hustler’s paradise. i took a selfie there. the guy behind the counter said, ‘look good? good. now open your wallet for 30 euros.’


one gymLmfao tried to sell avocados. seriusly. the owner said, ‘you need energy. avocados give you energy.’ i asked, ‘what about protein?’ he said, ‘avocados have protein. mostly from your brain.’ i left. that’s the amsterdam way.


quick tip: check the job market. gyms here hire coaches for 20 euros an hour. if you’re a freelancer, negotiate. they’ll take it. one guy got a part-time gig teaching yoga after posting a reel of himself doing squats in a sauna. weird but true.


another insight? safety. amsterdam’s gyms are safer than, say, holland’s suburbs. why? because everyone here is either too broke to afford a gym or too broke to care. crime? virtually none. unless you’re stealing protein powders.


the weather here is like a depressed cloud. it drizzles, it mists, it rains in patterns that make no sense. amsterdam’s gyms are indigo. everything is damp. your gym socks will mold faster than your will to live. but hey, it’s consistent. no sunscreen needed.


nearby cities? well, dutch towns are like pineapples- weirdly specific. go to,utrecht for a gym with a rooftop. it’s called ‘skyfit.’ they have a view of marian square. also, the hague has this thing called ‘bacon gym.’ it’s just a strip club with weights. i didn’t go. i’m not that person.


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external links
- tripadvisor: amsterdam gyms
- yelp: best amsterdam fitness
- reddit: amsterdam gym advice

my final take? amsterdam’s gyms are a love letter to the ugly. they don’t overdo it. they don’t try to be nicer than they are. if you’re here, embrace the grime. bring a towel. bring a dark mood. and don’t bother with avocados.