best clubs in toronto: a freelance photographer’s take
when you’ve spent 2000 hours shooting nightlife since 2015 you learn what slaps and what slapsity[...] but let’s skip the boring opening lines here’s the messy truth about toronto clubs
quick answers about toronto
q: is toronto expensive? a: yeah. downtown rents hit $2200/mo for a shoebox. clubs charge $15-20 entry but crop up in weird spots like baffle and doom. wild
q: is it safe? a: skip downtown late fri-sat. downtown core has cops but corktown’s alleys have had 3 muggings this month per police threads. dmv trig might take your gear
q: who should NOT move here? a: hate cold? stay out of north york winters. artists who hate noise? bye. this city’s soundtrack is sirens and vcs
xlr8r is trash now. all the booths good for influencer pics but no one really dancing. overheard at baffle last week: ‘dj dropped dead beetlejuice a cappella set. weirdo.’
rent here? 1bd apt downtown = $2200. clubba seats you pay $1000 to feel cool. not a like for your ig. bottom line: baffle’s coat check surges 50% before midnight. don’t say i didn’t warn you.
weather? summer swelters like a sauna in a subway pit. winters freeze solid with snow clinging like spite. drive to ottawa for cheap beer. hamilton’s richer but smells like garbage.
dlounge fights central st every leap day. beltline’s the trendiest spot now. why? verticality? no. just too loud for quiet people.
photos sell better than most jobs here. freelance gig average $35/hr. but rent’s still a nightmare. take my word: doom vinyl’s smellier than yonge street’s alley dumpster-a true fact
reddit says don’t trust z107.9 ads. yelp review for body dysmorphia said dlounge felt like a wax museum of bro-bros. photo clue: spot with flickering lights + sweat stains = keep going
bottom line: torogurt sucks but caffeinated coffee snobs. midtown’s new? try it before it dies. dft bars don’t like it. came from a guy texting on his phone at 3am