Bengaluru’s 3am Subway Dreams and Why I Regret Everything
woke up at 4am because my body decided to host a rave without my consent. the app said it’s 28.85degrees but it feels like stepping into a humid sauna made of melted cheese. stars aligned? probably not. my sheets smelled like last night’s curry and existential dread.
this city has a way of sneaking up on you. not the cute, planned kind. the kind where you shift and suddenly you’re standing in a puddle because the streetlights refused to work. i asked a vendor for directions and he yelled at his pet iguana. weird, right? i’m starting to think the local wildlife here has better life choices.
the weather here is relentless. i just checked and it’s… there right now, like a wall of humidity hugging your skin. hope you like that kind of thing. if you don’t, you’ll spend 70% of your time indoors, which is where i’m writing this. maybe the iced mango lassi from that roadside stall will save you. i don’t know. i tried it. it tasted like regret and coconut water.
neighbors? they’re more like strangers you accidentally bump into at 2am. one old man told me to avoid the domes at night because ‘the spirits don’t sleep.’ another guy said the malls are ‘just glorified pet carriers for rich people.’ maybe they’re right. i heard that from a drunk at a hostel bar. don’t trust strangers with absolute certainty.
someone told me that the local market is a trap for tourists. it’s not. it’s amazing. but here’s the twist: the street food vendors will judge your life choices if you order the wrong thing. i tried the chicken tikka and left with a bowl of sadness. maybe it was the sauce? or maybe i’m just doomed.
i’m tagging a few places here. if you want to see the chaos, check out this map of unexpected travel stops. \
last night, i saw a photo on a local forum of a guy riding a scooter while wearing a tuxedo. not a metaphor, not a photo. a real thing. i’m still processing that. maybe i should start a blog about trendy scooter fashion. it’s a niche, right?
another thing: the reviews. i heard that the wifi here is so slow, your download speed will feel like watching a 90s trek episode. some people say the coffee is the best in the world. others say it’s overpriced trash. i’m 50/50. i bought a cup and it tasted like regret. mystery solved.
you need visuals, right? here’s a random photo of a crow stealing a chapati. \
and this one? a guy pretending to yoga on a park bench. \
if you’re reading this, congratulations. you survived my ramblings. maybe. the local cafes are great. i heard that from a sticky note left on a toaster. weird, but true. if you need action, mysore is just a flight away but nobody tells you that here.
links! \tripadvisor\ for temples. \yelp\ for overpriced coffee. and \local boards\ for posters about missing buses. don’t follow the advice. it’s probably wrong.
so what’s next? who knows. maybe i’ll write a poem about this. or i’ll sleep. or i’ll check if the iguana still has opinions. probably not. this city has a way of making you irrelevant.
oh, and the dog? he’s still here. loose and judging me. probably.
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