bangkok blues: my sweaty, chaotic love affair with chaos city

never thought i'd say this after staring down a tuk-tuk swerving past a fruit cart, but bangkok just wrecked me in the best possible way. woke up to that thick, clingy 28.94°C air-feels like 31.56°C hell, right? humidity's at 64% but somehow that's the light version. my oasis works shared space smells like lemongrass tea and desperation. overheard some guy ranting that the mango sticky rice here’s ‘just a tourist trick, man’ but then a girl in biker shorts dragged him outta the store yelling ‘it’s 4am and i need calories!’ whatever.


first day i tripped over a considération mural that split into graffiti worth $20k. not kidding. crushed it with my cheap skateboard-still got scuffs from dodging wave bikers. locals call it ‘the city of angels’ but i see more coffee snobs arguing about espresso beans at 3am than angels. this one old man at the night market was like, ‘you kids think everything’s a grind? try balancing on a soapbox with no net.’ profound, but also, maybe don’t actually do that? his name was panya? or was that the barista? sleep-deprived minds be mixing.


ate at this drunken recommendation spot called ‘the lazy rice’-wife of mine said if it’s on the smack map it’s legit. she’s one of those freelance photographers who steals light for Instagram. her stories are wild. she snapped a shot of this cat with a muffin on khao san road and got 50k likes. priorities, right? anyway, the pork here? divine. but i heard that the pad thai pipe? that’s where the tourists get fleeced. some old blogger warned me last week. phew.


gear i swear by: cheap used flip-flops (try the one-off vendor by the golden plaza, don’t ask why they’re selling them), a疯狂好水瓶 (duh), and that weird co-working app that lists every place with free ice water. coz you’ll need ice water. can’t stress that enough. and if you get lost? just follow the tuk-tuks playing m engagement ballads. they're like neon noodles guiding ya.


neighbors? nah, i mean the chaos. the honking, the sticky heat, the way alley cats judge your life choices. but seriously, if you need a breather, ayutthaya’s an hour by train. my homie john-dude’s 200th upload to the grinding grind co-says it’s worth it. don’t take his word though. you should check the reviews on the using for real dirt.


if you’re still reading… this city’s a circuit board. wires crossing, smells hitting, colors clashing like some acid trip. but yeah, love you bangkok. now gimme a cold beer and a permanent wifi signal.

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