i was supposed to write this while sipping luang, a drink i hate, but my laptop died three times. the weather here is like a gremlin with a thermometer: 22.88°C, exactly, no wiggle room. feels like a roommate who’s always annoyed but somehow cozy. i’m a digital nomad here, barely. tried to work at a cafe but the wifi was ghosted. instead i wandered to a market and bought a sketchpad. it’s worse than expected, but hey.

there’s a place called bangkok b with a dock. not the real one. just a sketch. the photo i took was blurry because i forgot to delete instagram’s filter that makes everything glowy.

Overcast sky looms over calm water and shore.

a building on a beach next to a body of water

quick answers: is this place worth visiting? a: yes, if you want to see a dock that looks like it belongs in a postcard. it’s not the real one, but the ghosts of tourists still paint on it. expensive? no. bread costs $1.50. a latte? $3. who hates it? people who want neon lights or a metro system. best time? the weather here is the best time. it’s stuck. everlasting 22.88.

i heard a local warned me about the sketchpad. said it’s cursed. payments don’t work. the shopkeeper looked at me like i was buying a weapon. i tried to pay with a $50 note but he gave me a look that said, ‘you’re buying a sketchpad, not a game of thrones.’ but i bought it anyway.

insight 1: the dock is a 10-minute walk from a temple. the temple is newer than the dock. wild. you can sit on the dock’s rocks and wonder if the water’s real. it’s flat. lifeless. but the reflection of the sky makes it feel like a painting. some painter probably did this on purpose.

a: this city is a palindrome. it’s old and new at the same time. you’ll see a billion-dollar hotel next to a shack built in 1903. the shack has a cooler with mango juice. the hotel has a gym. both open at 8 am. i stayed at both in one day. the gym was better.

insight 2: safety here is a mix. the dock area? okay. but at night, avoid side streets. i heard a taxi driver say, ‘if you look like you don’t belong, walk fast.’ not helpful, but true. locals here are everywhere. they’ll stare if you look lost. or they’ll invite you to matkas. matkas? it’s a type of noodle soup. everyone eats it. i didn’t. i’m a food snob now.

someone told me bangkok b’s best secret is a hole-in-the-wall bookstore. it’s run by a monk. he sold me a map of the moon. not the real moon. a draw map. i used it to navigate to a bridge. it worked.

the weather here is like a bad relationship. stable, but nobody wants to admit it. feels like 22.88 all the time. no highs, no lows. just… there. i tried to swim in the ocean nearby. the water was 28°C. the sun was hiding. i felt like a tourist who can’t even leave the shore.

i bought a coffee from a vendor who snorted. he said, ‘this is 100% arabica.’ i said, ‘i’ll take it.’ it tasted like soil. maybe that’s the point. the coffee snob in me hates it. but the vendor doesn’t care. he’s probably a monk too.

insight 3: the best time to visit is when you don’t care. this place is a dump in theory. but it’s a dump you can sleep in. i did. the dock’s rocks are warm. i woke up to a bird eating my sandwich. bravo. cheap? yes. but you’re not going to get lost, unless you follow a dog. local dogs here are on strike. they refuse to cross the road.

i found a protest at 2 am. not about politics. about parking. a group of monks was blocking a car with their shawls. the driver started praying. i joined. we all prayed for better parking. it worked.

the weather here is like a memory. you can feel it but not see it. i asked a kid where the best place to eat was. he said, ‘the place with the sign that says ‘eat here or die.’ i went. it was a bunker. the food was okay. the sign was real.

someone warned me about the sketchpad. said it’s haunted. i don’t believe in ghosts. but i drew a skull on the last page. now i can’t spend five minutes without seeing it. it’s in my mind. inside my head.

the dock here is a metaphor. for everything. for cheap eats. for bad wifi. for a life where you pretend you’re a digital nomad but actually just stream netflix on a phone. i did that.

q: is it expensive? a: no. unless you want a gym membership. then you’re broke.

q: who would hate it here? a: people who want order. or a decent espresso. or a way to charge a phone.

q: best time to visit? a: when the sky is overcast. it makes everything feel like a painting. also, mondays. everyone’s lazy then.

i tried to vlog here. the camera kept dying. the dog kept stealing my phone. the monk at the bookstore kept giving me religious pamphlets. i used one as a coaster for my luang. it burned.

i heard the weather here is like a person who’s too nice. 22.88°C all day. no drama. no complaining. just there. like a person who says, ‘i’m fine’ while hiding a broken leg. you can count on it.

insight 4: the dock is closing soon. the city says it’s for safety. but i think it’s because the sketchpad is cursed. i saw a local throw a coin in the water and say, ‘good luck, dummy.’ they believed it. i didn’t.

i’m leaving tomorrow. the sketchpad is still in my bag. it’s empty now. i drew a lot of bad umbrellas. maybe that’s what the monk meant. maybe the dock’s real one is a sketch too. a ghost of a real place.

insert a stuck youtube video here: watch this chaos. it’s me trying to walk the dock at midnight. i fell. the liters of luang i bought are still in my room. i’ll never drink them.

some local told me, ‘don’t trust the weather forecast.’ they said, ‘it’s always 22.88 here.’ i checked three apps. all said the same. i believed them. now i’m here.

i met a street artist here. he painted a big ‘x’ on the dock. it looked like a warning. i asked what it meant. he said, ‘just don’t stand on the rocks. they’re not real.’ i stood. i’m okay. mostly.

the weather here is a problem. it’s 22.88 now, but by 5 pm it’s 23.5. i swear. the app lied. i tried to adjust my jacket. it was too hot then too cold. i’ve never felt so naked.

insight 5: you can’t escape the dock’s myth. even if you leave, you’ll keep drawing it. or thinking about it. or imagining you’re at a real dock. i’ve been here for 48 hours. i’ve never seen a real sky. just clouds that look like they’re made of cotton candy.

i bought a book about local ghosts. it said the dock was a hiding place for smugglers. i drew a smuggler on the sketchpad. it looks like a sad clown. i hope he’s okay. maybe he’s still waiting for payment.

i heard bangkok b is expensive for locals. but here? it’s a joke. everything’s cheap. too cheap. the coffee’s too cheap. the snacks are too cheap. but the sketchpad? overpriced. i still paid.

q: is this place worth visiting? a: only if you want to see a dock that’s not really a dock. and if you like drawing while being haunted.

i’m gonna leave this sketchpad in the town. maybe the next person will draw a real dock. or a better sketchpad. or a functioning wifi. i don’t know. but i’m taking the luang with me. even though it burned my tongue.

links: trip reviews | yelp rants | reddit debates | sketch pages | why the weather’s fixed

bangkok b Buddha and bad internet

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