aqua métropole: where it rains 12 inches a day and nobody owns pants

the last time it rained here, i forgot my own shoes. not metaphorically. literally. they were soaked. like, inside-out soaked. locals carry umbrellas the size of boats or just laugh and go ’shrug, we’re unique.’

i’m told this is ‘seattle’s twin instant city,’ which is weird because seattle’s probably suing them. weather’s the main character here. always. don’t say ‘chilly’ to describe it. say ‘i’m melting from the inside out.’

average temp feels like 18.4°C. the number sounds fake. real talk: the ‘feels like’ is 17.5°C, which is what happens when there’s 32% humidity hiding in every basement. you’ll sweat like a sinner in church, then slip on moss in a park.

humidity’s the silent roommate. leaves you damp in places you did not know skin could be damp. wear breathable cotton. if you’re fancy, a raincoat. if you’re rich, a heated umbrella.

nearby cities: portland’s 1 hour south. vancouver’s 1 hour north. both care more about sports teams than your sadness.

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