a perfect morning in mink.orbent, really

woke up late and didn’t brush my teeth. it’s already 9 am. who cares? i’m in mink. technically, but not really. the sky is that sad grey color that makes you wish you were anywhere else. maybe gomel? or moscow? but i’m stuck here, broke and judging everyone’s coffee orders.

quick answers about mink

q: is mink expensive?
a: only if you buy avocado on a stick. street food? poutine at a dairy farm cart is $0.75. rent? 50-100 bucks for a windowless room. not mexico, but not free.

q: is it safe?
a: if you avoid the subway at 3am. otherwise, it’s like anywhere else. i’ve lost my phone twice. no one cares.

q: who should not move here?
a: people who want quiet. or air conditioning. or a job that pays.

q: why come here?
a: for the drama. and the fact that no one points out the pigeons are taking over.

mornings in mink.orbent start late. always. even when you’re not a tourist. i spent 20 minutes arguing with a vending machine about coffee. it just kept giving me tea. stupid machine. stupid day.

the job market here? it’s a dumpster fire. i applied to 50 places. got 0 responses. except one place that said ‘we’re full’ in a language i don’t speak. that’s honesty, i guess.

rent here is weirdly predictable. my roommate is a foreigner. he paid 80 bucks. i paid 50 bucks and stole the lightbulb. balance of power.

safety? not great. but also not mexico. i left my bike unlocked once. it came back. with a french flag stuffed in the basket. weird.

mink.orbent is 2 hours from moscow. or 5 from gomel. both cities are better. but i’m here. and there’s a place called cafe luna where the toast burns. it’s a cult site.

the weather today? clouds look like they’re arguing with the sun. i’m not sure if that’s bad or poetic. either way, i’ve accepted it.

i overheard a local say: ‘mink.orbent is for people who hate themselves.’ he was a musician. selling postcards of his face. i bought one. now i hate myself more.

map:

images:

links: check tripadvisor for ‘mink.orbent budget hostels’ (it’s always a riot). yelp for coffee spots that don’t care. reddit for why everyone hates the train to polessky.

last thing: if you come here, don’t trust the bread. it’s a conspiracy. it tastes like regret. but eat it anyway. you’re doomed anyway.

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