helsinki's rainy alleyways where i tried to fix my camera

i woke up this morning to a city that looked like it had been hit by a particularly moody teakettle. 3.49 degrees and 75% humidity? forget it. it’s like the weather decided to hold a grudge against my damp jeans and questionable life choices. so i grabbed my camera, which is basically a brick now due to water damage from last year’s ‘accidental’ shower mishap, and slung it over my shoulder. what do you do when your gear is dead but your need to pretend you’re a freaking travel pro isn’t? you walk into the rain.



contrary to what the locals might tell you, hellsinki isn’t all saunas and scandi minimalism. there’s a gritty underbelly here if you know where to look. or rather, if you’re stupid enough to photograph it. i did.



first stop was that old bridge near the water. i swear i saw a guy in a tuxedo arguing with a streetlamp there. maybe he was trying to propose to it? i don’t know. what i do know is that the light was terrible, the bridge was slick, and my camera started making that weird buzzing noise again. but hey, at least i got a shot of some weird-looking graffiti on the pillars. someone had clearly spent hours with a marker and a deep resentment for public art. (translation: me).



then i wandered into a café called ‘the fog machine’ because the name at least matched the vibe. i ordered a coffee and asked the barista where the best spots for photos were. she looked at me like i’d asked for a latte in a desert. ‘you’re here to take pictures? why?’ i said, leaning in. she shrugged and muttered something about ‘tourists with broken cameras.’ i took that as a compliment. maybe she’d seen enough of my previous work.



overheard gossip? yeah. while i was waiting for my coffee, two locals were outside gossiping under a bench. one of them said, ‘i heard the new subway station’s got rats the size of small dogs now.’ another replied, ‘don’t worry, they’ll just eat your camera kit if you leave it out.’ i almost laughed. but then i remembered how i lost my lens cap in a dryer last winter.



the weather kept flirting with disaster. it didn’t rain exactly, but it felt like someone had dumped a snow globe full of existential dread outside my window. i tried to take a photo of a cat napping on a fire escape but the wind just kept blowing my tripod into the sea. classic. at one point, i nearly bumped into a couple having a heated debate about whether the local gym’s hot guy was a real person or a mannequin. i didn’t ask. i just snapped a photo. it’s probably useful for nothing.



if you get bored, oslo is just a short drive away. or maybe don’t. the highway lights seemed to beckon me in a way that made me question all my life choices. but hey, at least i got a glimpse of a guy in a wolf costume trying to sell Christmas decorations. that’s helsinki for you.



reviews here are all over the place. someone told me that the old library had a hidden room whereipers once gathered to plan taking over the city. another claimed the local busker plays a harmonica that can actually predict the weather. i didn’t believe either, but i did take a photo of the busker. his harmonica case had a sticky note that said ‘don’t trust him after dark.’ fair enough.



i tried to upload my photos to unsplash later, but the site kept timing out. guess the servers are also dealing with the same Hell if we are.



here’s a map if you want to visit the same disaster zone:

and here are some images from my chaotic day:

if you’re still reading this, you’re either brave or very bored. either way, helsinki is a city that demands you leave hesitating. or maybe just leave your camera gear somewhere safe.



p.s. if you want to see more of my disasters, check out my yelp page. i’ve reviewed everything from the best mud pies to the worst elevators in europe. www.tripadvisor.com/user/mybleakphotography

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