hanoi is just a place where you end up when your last job offer dries up

i had this idea to write something clever about hanoi but midnight thoughts sound like a broken espresso machine so here we are. the weather right now? i just checked and it's 25.21 degrees right now, which is technically a sauna but the breeze is pretending to be a bard. 80% humidity doesn’t care. it’s like being hugged by a damp towel.


last week i was a consultant in tokyo. this week? i’m here, probably because my ex-laid-off-me via email. the irony is thick enough to slice. walks here feel like a negotiation between the humidity and your will to live. i passed a street vendor named mr. nguyen’s fried eggs and he was judging me with those eyes. imagine that.



people here say hanoi is chaotic. i say it’s lukewarm chaos. the motorbikes zoom past like they’re late for a family reunion. once i tried eating pho at 2 am and the waiter asked if i wanted extra ghost pepper. i said no but my soul said yes. somewhere in the middle is where my brain is now.



someone told me the city’s underground poker games are so creative-they play with rice balls and braai. another said the tap water tastes like a forgotten memory. i smelled it. it’s not bad! just… old. like that time you forgot to pay your electricity bill and now your oven is a toaster.



if you get bored, ha long is just a short drive away. not that you’d want to leave. this place has a vibe where saying no to everything is a form of rebellion. i walked by a sign that said ‘free cat yoga’ and there was a group of people wearing corpse paint. they were probably okay.



reviews here are like urban legends. a yelp says the cyclo rides are haunted. i’m not buying it. my cyclo driver chatted about his ex’s obsession with poltergeists. he said she used to blame the city’s humidity for her exits. i’m leaning into this. maybe the humidity is a ghost.



here’s a map if you want to get lost.don’t blame me when you end up in a temple instead of a bar.



unsplash dropped some good photos. check out

they’re all just random angles of the same swirling mess.



links? tribal tavern on tripadvisor is worth a look. their mohairを開 and burnt coffee are a lifestyle. for budget eats, hanoi meetup has a thread about bean paste dumplings that cost less than your dignity. don’t trust the locals-they’ll tell you everything’s free. it’s not.



i woke up this morning and the city was still being itself. nobody here cares about clean lines or efficient systems. it’s all about surviving the next motorbike horn. i’m starting to think that’s the point.



ps: if you’re a consultant reading this-don’t. unless you want to learn how to make friends with a street cat that’s definitely not a stray.

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