Búzios - Where the Sea Hates You Back
okay so i'm sitting here in this little cafe trying to remember why i thought coming to búzios was a good idea. the weather's doing that thing where it's like 23 degrees but feels like 24 because the humidity is basically a wet blanket wrapped around your soul. i just checked and it's...there right now, hope you like that kind of thing.
i came here because i heard it was this charming fishing village turned tourist trap, but what they don't tell you is that the sea here has a personal vendetta against anyone with skin. the waves are aggressive, the sand is hot enough to fry an egg, and the locals look at you like you're interrupting their afternoon nap.
*praia da ferradura was my first stop - apparently it's shaped like a horseshoe which is cute until you realize that means the waves come at you from multiple angles. i overheard some drunk guy at the bar saying the water's "clearer than his ex's intentions" which i guess is a compliment?
if you get bored, cabo frio and araruama are just a short drive away, though honestly at this point i'd rather drive into the ocean than deal with more beach traffic.
i tried to find some authentic local food but ended up at a place called restaurante os esqueletos* which i think translates to "the skeletons" - fitting because that's what i felt like after paying $30 for fish that tasted like regret. someone told me that the best food is actually at the gas station on the way out of town, which sounds about right for this place.
this whole place feels like it was designed by someone who really hates tourists but also really needs their money. the streets are narrow, the sidewalks are an afterthought, and good luck finding a bathroom that doesn't charge you more than a small car payment.
i met this guy who said he's been coming here for 20 years and he looked at me like i was crazy for staying more than a day. he said the secret is to never eat at places with English menus, but honestly at this point i'd eat at a place with a menu written in hieroglyphics if it meant getting a decent meal.
would i recommend búzios? only if you enjoy paying premium prices for mediocre experiences and don't mind the ocean trying to drown you every chance it gets. the sunsets are pretty though, i'll give it that - they're the only thing here that doesn't seem actively hostile to my existence.
check out tripadvisor for more reviews, though honestly most of them seem written by people who either got really lucky or have very low standards for what constitutes a good vacation.
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