bucharest nights and coffee stains

i woke up in a hostel that smelled like old sneakers and existential dread. the room was tiny, the bed lumpy, and the shower had a leak that sounded like a sad kazoo. but hey, at least the weather was 8 degrees. i just checked and it's...there right now, hope you like that kind of thing. the feels_like was 7.35, which is basically a cry for help from the universe. i wore a thick coat and a hat that was 90% patches. the thing is, i don’t even know why i chose this. maybe it was the promise of cheap eats and weird architecture. the locals said it’s ‘authentic.’ i think they were lying.

so i wandered around, trying to find a place to eat. one café had a sign that said ‘no tourists’ but then sold me a croissant. another had a menu in cyrillic and a guy yelling about something. i ordered a bowl of soup and it was so hot it burned my lips. the waitress said it was a ‘special recipe.’ i’m not sure if that’s good or bad. what kind of special is that? i hear rumors that some places here just add road salt. i don’t think i want to know.

the neighbors? well, if you get bored, the carpathians are just a short drive away. i heard that from a guy on a bike who looked like he’d rather be anywhere but here. he was probably right. the city is loud, smoky, and weird. i saw a guy selling vintage t-shirts out of a cart. he had a sign that said ‘50% off if you look sad.’ i didn’t ask why. i just bought one. it was a band t-shirt from the 90s. it felt like wearing a secret. maybe that’s what this place is about.

i heard that somewhere, people here avoid eye contact. i don’t know if that’s true or if it’s just the weather. the humidity was 69%, which made everything sticky. i tried to use a public restroom and it was locked. i had to wait 10 minutes for someone to let me in. during that time, i heard someone shouting in russian. i think they were angry about the coffee. i’m not sure. maybe they were just mad about life.

someone told me that the traffic here is a real thing. i heard that from a tourist who looked lost and then disappeared. another person warned me about the food. they said it’s all about the spices. i don’t know if that’s true, but the last meal i had was a plate of something that tasted like regret. i’m not even sure what it was. maybe it was meat. maybe it was tears.

i checked some reviews on youtube. one said ‘the best coffee i’ve ever had’ but then another said ‘this place is a trap.’ i’m not sure who to believe. i saw a yelp entry that said ‘the hostel has a ghost. it whispers in your ear when you sleep.’ i laughed. i don’t believe in ghosts, but i did hear a sound at 3 am. it was probably the landlord yelling about rent.

so here’s the map.

it shows where i was. not that it matters. the city is a maze of alleys and bad decisions. i took a photo of a random wall and posted it on instagram. no one cared. the captions were all in Serbian. i don’t speak Serbian. but i think that’s part of the charm.

i found another image of a street at night.

it’s not great. the colors are weird. maybe that’s the point. i also took a picture of a coffee shop.

the cup looked like it had a soul. maybe it did. i don’t know.

i heard that some places here have secret underground clubs. i don’t know if that’s true. i tried to ask a local, but they just gave me a weird look and walked away. maybe they were scared. or maybe they were tired. either way, i didn’t get an answer. i’m starting to think this place is too random for me. but then again, maybe that’s what I came for.

so yeah. if you’re thinking about coming here, think twice. or don’t. it’s a mess, but it’s a real one. the weather is cold, the people are suspicious, and the coffee is...terrible. but then again, maybe that’s the point. maybe this is what i needed. a place where nothing makes sense. where you can wear a band t-shirt from 1997 and feel like you’re part of something. i don’t know. i’m probably still here. probably still cold. probably still wondering why I didn’t just stay in my bed. but hey. at least I didn’t get lost in a forest. that would’ve been worse.

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