valkenberg? more like valken-blast. here’s what i found.
i woke up at 7am wondering why i decided to rent a tiny van and drive to valkenberg just to photograph a lighthouse that no one seems to remember. the weather is 15.19 and feels like i forgot to pack a scarf. i just checked and it’s…there right now, hope you like that kind of thing. i mean, it’s not snowing or anything, but the wind’s got that ‘i-just-divorced-a-southern-vinegar’ vibe.
someone told me the lighthouse keeper lives in a loft above a fish market. i asked if he’d show me the secret stairs, and he said ‘only if you bring a sandwich. no mayo.’ i came back with a ham and cheese and he opened the door to a spiral staircase made of saltwater-tarnished metal. turns out the fish market sells pickled herring by the slice, which is where i learned that locals actually enjoy their weather. it’s 87% humidity, which is either a blessing or a curse depending on whether you’re wearing socks.
if you get bored, citadel is just a short drive away. i heard that from a guy selling handmade soap at a roadside stall. he looked like he’d rather be a ghost hunter. i didn’t press him.
i overlayed a map here so you don’t get lost.
. the coffee shops near the lighthouse? according to a yelp review i skimmed, they play pink noise at 3am. i’m 70% sure that’s a lie.
i found a couple of pictures of valkenberg’s ‘scenery’ on unsplash.
. the last one is probably fake. the waves look too perfect.
review gossip: i heard that the local bakery uses 100-year-old recipes. another local said they put gravel in their bread. i’m not sure which is closer to the truth. maybe ask at the fish market? they’ve got a sign that says ‘do not ask about the gravel.’
i’m not sure if valkenberg is a city or a vibe. probably both. the people here talk like they’re from a 90s indie film. one guy told me he only leaves his house for the wind. another said he proposed under a lighthouse but his girlfriend left because the waves were too loud. i’m 60% sure i’m making this up.
if you’re coming, pack layers. the van’s AC is broken. also, maybe a septum stud. for safety. on my next post, i’ll probably rant about the time i tried to surf there and the ocean hated me. tags: travel valkenberg human vibe messy
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