ontario, ca: a messed-up botanist's guide to the wild side

okay, so i'm in ontario, california, and my brain is fried from too much sun and not enough coffee. as a botanist, i came here to check out the *native sage scrub and maybe find a rare cactus that doesn't look like it's judging your life choices. seriously, these plants have attitude, like they've seen too much construction and not enough rain.

the weather? i just peeped at my phone: it's 15.63 degrees celsius, but with humidity at 81%, it feels like 15.36 - whatever that means. basically, my hair is having a meltdown and my notebook pages are curling. pro tip: bring a silica gel packet for your journal, or just embrace the warp. i heard a local say that this humidity is perfect for moss growth, but i think he was full of it. moss in the desert? yeah right.

i landed at the ontario international airport - don't ask why i flew here, i had points or something. the drive in was a blur of palm trees and billboards for lawyers. not my vibe, but i'm on a mission for flora. i followed some crumbs from a forum about hidden gardens in the area. someone mentioned a secret creek behind the shopping center, so i went looking.

first stop: some hidden park i read about on a local board. someone said it's where the old oaks grow sideways from the clay soil. i found it, and yeah, the trees are all twisted like they've been doing yoga for centuries. breathtaking, honestly. i spent an hour just sitting under one, taking notes on the lichen patterns. worth it. the soil was wet from morning dew, and i saw tracks of rabbits or something. alive.

see that blob on the map? that's where i'm at. zoom in, you'll see the park i mentioned. or don't, i'm not your mom. but seriously, go there. it's at the corner of milliken and mission, if you know the area.

neighbors: if you get antsy, san bernardino is a short drive, and they have a botanical garden that's supposed to be lit. i heard from a drunk guy at a bar that it's full of rare palms, but i think he was just making it up. still, might be worth the gas money. another rumor: riverside has a secret creek with wild ginger, but you need a permit to look, which is bullshit. i met a hiker who said he found rare ferns there, but he was probably lying.

overheard gossip: at the coffee shop, two locals were arguing about the best succulent shop. one said 'succulent surburbia' on yelp has ghost plants that only bloom once a decade. the other claimed it's a scam. classic. i checked yelp, and the reviews are mixed - one guy said his echeveria died immediately, another said it's magic. typical. yelp link: Succulent Surburbia on Yelp

speaking of yelp, also, tripadvisor has a page for the regional park: Ontario Regional Park on TripAdvisor - read the reviews, but take them with a salt lick. some people complain about snakes, which is fair, but come on, it's nature. others say the picnic areas are infested with ants - true story.

i added a bunch of links below for more intel. like, check out this california native plant society site: CNPS - they have great resources for plant ids and conservation. and this weird blog about urban foraging in the ie: Inland Empire Forager - hilarious and useful, but don't trust their mushroom advice. also, if you're into soil types, here's a scientific paper that might put you to sleep: Soil Science Journal - fascinating if you're insane. for local events, check the ontario community board: Ontario Events - they have plant swaps and clean-ups. also, this random travel blog had a weird take on the area: Weird Ontario - entertaining if you're bored.

now, the images i snapped (well, unsplash'ed):

see these berries? they're everywhere here, but don't eat them unless you like vomiting. local warning. they're toxic, but pretty. i think they're toyon berries or something.

this is from a garden center i visited. weird, right? but they had cool pots and organic soil. expensive, but nice. the owner said she gets her supplies from mexico, which is cool.

this sign is from near the park. ontario takes its parking seriously. i got a ticket for parking on grass, which is dumb, but whatever. lesson learned.

back to the plants: i walked for hours, sweating in that humidity, and found a patch of wild lilac that smelled like heaven and sin. perfect. i also saw some buckwheat and bush mallow - native gems. the air smelled like dust and sage, which is weirdly soothing. i even spotted a rarePenstemon near the creek - jackpot.

if you come here, pack water, wear boots, and ignore the raccoons - they're assholes and will steal your lunch. also, watch for rattlesnakes in the rocks. not kidding. and whatever you do, don't trust the guy selling 'organic' fertilizer on eastirst - it's just sand and wishes.

final thought: ontario's got layers. under the concrete, there's life pushing through. go find it. i probably missed a bunch, but my brain's fried from photosynthesizing too hard. later. peace. if you need more, hit up the local botanical group on facebook - they're crazy but know their stuff*.

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